Arn Does Euro 2024 Day 10 

 

Two groups finished on Tuesday. Including England but more on that shower of shit later.  

 

FRANCE 1 POLAND 1 

I mentioned earlier in the tournament that I didn’t think France were the all-powerful, scary monster they should be. Every game that passes, it becomes more and more apparent. This is not the France that could have won the World Cup in 2022. The main issue seems to be a lack of attacking options around or in place of Mbappe. They rely very heavily on him for goals. Look at the Netherlands game when he didn’t play!  

 

Poland had talismanic striker Robert Lewandowski back and he was good enough for a penalty as Poland quietly removed themselves from the competition. France should be embarrassed that they didn’t take these jokers out. 1-1? Are you taking the piss? Their 1-XI is elite but they keep stumbling and fumbling.  

 

ELIMINATED: POLAND (assessment) 

Poland were powerfully mediocre in this tournament. They got outclassed by a poor Netherlands team, with a scrappy midfield. They were obliterated by the running and drive and press of Austria. Then, desperate for a win to stay in, they needed a penalty to avoid defeat against a half-assed French performance.  

 

Poland opted for a back three in this tournament and honestly, that is a formation designed to cover a lack of good players. Kiwior looked less happy in a three than playing as a full back. Salamon was shite. Bednarek struggled against Gakpo. Davidowicz came in for Salamon in MD2 and he was also shite. Poor formation, poor performances from the players in it. 

 

In midfield there was slightly more joy with Zielinski being the best performer over the three games. Urbanski was inconsistent. Zalewski was good against the Dutch but that’s about it. Overall, this was the greatest strength but largely because they piled so many players in and around Zielinski.  

 

Up front they lacked the impact of Lewandowski but should start looking to future because he looks like a shadow of his former self. I liked Buksa vs. Netherlands, and he did get a goal in that game.  

 

NETHERLANDS 2 AUSTRIA 3 

What a corker this was! Austria’s pressing has been a huge talking point during this tournament. The high energy, teamwork approach has won a lot of fans. Against the Dutch, Rangnick switched his onfield personnel to allow Baumgartner and Laimer to come in fresh in the second half and further impact play. It was a smart decision and allowed Austria to finish strong.  

 

The Dutch looked so weak defensively here. The one area where they have strength. De Vrij looked lost, and van Dijk had a stinker (schtinker?), by his standards. The midfield, which has been shit all tournament, was even worse here. Veerman was so bad he got hooked after 35’. I don’t get why he’s still playing, he’s been terrible in every game. Xavi Simons, who was omitted from the starting XI for Ronald Koeman reasons, came on and changed the game. If it wasn’t for Memphis Depay’s link up play, I’d say Simons was the best Dutch player by a mile. 

 

For Austria there were cracking, hard-working, performances everywhere. In particular I was impressed with Prass from left back and he set up the OG for 0-1. Sabitzer was full of running and movement. Grillitsch was great. Posch had a good game. Schmid was effective. Baumgartner, off the bench, controlled the last 25 minutes. They’ll be tough to play against, whoever gets them in R16 (Turkey?).  

 

DENMARK 0 SERBIA 0 

Just an awful game of football.  

 

ELIMINATED: SERBIA (assessment) 

Serbia scored one goal in three games. You can’t expect to advance with one goal in three games. Especially in this tournament, which was so open and free scoring until Group C ruined it. They were crap for 45 minutes against England and only came into that game because England stopped playing at 1-0. And they still didn’t score. Vlahovic and Mitrovic should have been a lethal pairing, but they had no support, whatsoever. 

 

This is another team that favours a back three and those lads were shit. Pavlovic was so bad first half against England, I thought they were going to sub him off. Veljkovic wasn’t much better, and he had NOTHING to do. Zivkovic and Kostic both went missing and got hooked. Against Slovenia they showed a bit more intent and fielded Dusan Tadic. He had a good game and both Lukic and Ilic held together the midfield. It was a much better performance. Still had a lack of end product.  

 

Then against Denmark they left Tadic out. And Vlahovic. And Jovic. If Mitrovic doesn’t score for that XI, they never score in a million years. In a game they HAD to win, or they were out, they managed one shot on goal. Fuck off, Serbia. Most pathetic team in the tournament.  

 

ENGLAND 0 SLOVENIA 0 

What a fantastic result, for Slovenia. They’ll be cheering and laughing about this for decades. The same way Romania and Iceland did when they embarrassed England at major tournaments. Or Scotland. Or the USA. Etc. Etc.  

 

England were poor. Piss poor. 72% possession. 3 shots on goal. How can you be that bad at attacking? No one tried to get in behind. No one tried to run at the defence. It was awful. The good news for England fans is that Mainoo and Palmer looked good in the second half and made England’s line up far better. They were getting at the defence and causing problems. After three games of turgid sideways football, it looks like they might finally be about to turn the corner.  

 

Of course Southgate is the main villain. Making another horrendous mistake in his team selection. This lot haven’t worked together, at all, for two games. He finally admitted that Trent Alexander-Arnold isn’t a midfielder but put Conor Gallagher in there instead? HAS HE NOT WATCHED THE FUCKING GAMES? Conor Gallagher is the last person in the squad I would have put in there based on past performances. And let’s not forget this is Slovenia and he’s fielding TWO HOLDING PLAYERS IN MIDFIELD? Are you fucking kidding me? Just because it worked once, we’re now stuck with a double pivot for eternity.  

 

THE DREADED ENGLAND PLAYER RATINGS 

 

Jordan Pickford. He had nothing to do. **½  

 

Kyle Walker. Didn’t look like contributing much of anything. Eventually got moved to left back, because Southgate. **½ 

 

Kieran Trippier. Still, STILL, cannot play left back. *½ 

 

Marc Guehi. A less convincing performance than against Denmark but looked ok on the ball and organised at the back. *** 

 

John Stones. As with Guehi, he was fine and didn’t put a foot wrong. However, he was still lacking progressive passing that we see from him at club level. *** 

 

Declan Rice. He tried, at times, to force the pace of the game but no one around him seemed interested in joining in. *** 

 

Conor Gallagher. Ran around a lot. *½ 

 

Conor is the kind of player you put in a team when it’s chock full of attacking players who don’t defend or track back and you need someone to do the dirty work.  

 

Jude Bellingham. Looked tired. Passing wasn’t good enough. Didn’t look like the world beater he showed in flashes against Serbia. ** 

 

Phil Foden. His best game of the tournament so far. Foden drifted in field to play in his preferred area of the pitch but still has no chemistry with Kane or Saka. *** 

 

Bukayo Saka. Looked leggy and drifted out of the game even earlier than usual. Should have been rested considering all the options on the bench in wide areas. **½ 

 

Harry Kane. Spent most of the game in central midfield. His range of passing was actually pretty good but he had no attacking threat at all. **½  

 

Subs: 

Kobbie Mainoo. Had an immediate impact after replacing the pathetic Gallagher at HT. Faded out of the game but must have done enough to earn a starting spot next match. *** 

 

Cole Palmer. Only given 20 minutes but was, by some distance, England’s most effective player going forwards. ***½ 

 

Trent Alexander-Arnold. How this cunt has a reputation for passing the ball, I’ll never know. * 

 

Anthony Gordon. Chewed at some dry wall and left a greasy smear along the advertising boards. If Slovenia had laid down some glue boards, he’d have been quickly neutralised.  

 

Team of the Tournament (Match Day 3)  

GK: Donnarumma 

RB: Stanisic  

LB: Prass 

CB: Laporte  

CB: Calafiori  

MF: Kroos  

MF: Modric 

MF: Grillitsch  

LW: Wirtz  

RW: Musiala 

ST: Depay 

 

NEXT 

 

SLOVAKIA vs. ROMANIA 

This is a tough call. Romania have been exciting to watch and destroyed Ukraine in MD1. Slovakia are inconsistent and somehow beat Belgium. The fact they couldn’t hold on after taking the lead against Ukraine shows how ropey they really are, and Belgium were just unlucky against them.  

 

Any time Slovakia, usually, play someone good they get beat. The question is; are Romania good? I think they are. They, like Slovakia, can be wildly unpredictable though. Given that I don’t know how this is going to play out, I’m going to predict the team to win that I would like to see progress, which is Romania. They’ve been far more fun to watch than Slovakia. Prediction: 0-2  

 

UKRAINE vs. BELGIUM  

Belgium are, by far, the better side. They’ve never played Ukraine one-on-one but all the stats otherwise suggest a Belgium win. Also, the way they played against Romania was exemplary and they should have blown Romania out of the water. One long distance shot, and some horrible luck on marginal calls, was the only difference against Slovakia. Belgium should be sat on 6 points and already in the knockouts.  

 

Ukraine showed a lot of moxy in coming back and beating Slovakia. But, Slovakia are not a good team. Shaparenko won’t run midfield like he did against the Slovaks. Zinchenko can’t possibly look like a star player against a quality team. Unless Mudryk finally finds out where the goal is or Yaremchuk scores a late winner, again, I can’t see Ukraine getting anywhere here. Prediction: 0-3  

 

CZECHIA vs. TURKEY 

Czechia has to win, or they’re out. Czechia doesn’t posess that kind of dynamism. They couldn’t even beat a tired as fuck Georgia team. Patrick Schick may miss the game with a calf problem, which just amplifies their lack of goal threat.  

 

Turkey is an excitable and wildly unpredictable team. They’ll have huge crowd support and history on their side. Their last three games against Czechia have ended in Turkey wins. The last was a World Cup warm up game in 2022. They also beat Czechia at the Euros back in 2016. I prefer Turkey, who are exciting, over Czechia who will probably look to set pieces for goals. Prediction: 1-2  

 

GEORGIA vs. PORTUGAL 

The dream here is for Georgia to beat Portugal, regardless of what side Portugal field (having already qualified). It would be superb, and I’d love to see Georgia in the knock out stages. Not only for the underdog story but because they’ve played all guns-a-blazin’ and have been great value entertainment.  

 

However, their style involves a lot of hard running and that takes its toll. Portugal are the kind of squad that have depth, quality and athleticism. Not to mention the kind of technical skill that will have Georgia chasing shadows all night, rather than running at the back line. Some of the Portuguese players will be wanting to impress Roberto Martinez and feature in more games. Prediction: 1-4  

 

I HOPE Georgia win, let’s be clear about that, but I’m being realistic on the calls.  

 

Hopefully, at this time tomorrow, I’ll be talking about one of the game’s finest upsets!