FMW Battle Mission (6.2.90) review 

 

June 2, 1990 

 

We’re in Tokyo, Japan at a packed Korakuen Hall for an FMW show that got recorded by one of those camera obsessed Japanese guys that we always hear about in movies (in the 1980s). It’s likely there will be no screengrabs in this because we are in the realm of HANDHELD FOOTAGE. The kind of prized footage you can only attain from some random guy who taped shows.  

 

Ryo Miyake vs. Yukihide Ueno 

Miyake has emerged from under his “Shooter #2” persona. He’s wearing yellow. You may know Ueno for his gimmicked name; Choden Senshi Battle Ranger. Or perhaps not!

Early cam footage doesn’t make me hopeful! I get the feeling the guy recording it doesn’t care for this match because he barely gets it in shot. Business picks up with some kicks from Ueno, but they do a hilariously bad superplex and the crowd laugh at them. A horrible Thesz press/crossbody follows and the laughter gets louder.  

 

The match is so technically bad that it may be intentional. Comedy wrestling in Japan can get a little subjective. It is more likely that they just stink. German suplex finishes amateur hour in favour of Ueno. ½* 

 

Yoshika Maedomari vs. Kumiko Matsuda 

Maedomari is better known as “Crusher” Maedomari. She’s in all black. I’ve seen her work under that gimmick. Matsuda you may know as Tsuppari Mack. FMW were ahead of the times in promoting women’s wrestling in a men’s promotion. Onita was a great feminist. He must be, as he claims to have slept with over 20,000 women. As a caring feminist, he can’t just give all of himself away to one woman.  

 

Matsuda is a kicker. Aiming strikes at Maedomari’s legs and midsection. Maedomari is a grappler, aiming to work Matsuda’s arm, although surely the leg would be more useful to stop the kicks. As I type that she switches to a half crab. Attagirl. Maedomari seems a little reluctant to take big spots and she’s very slow off the ropes when she knows a thrust kick is coming.  

 

There’s plenty of laughter in this one too as Maedomari struggles with a leg hold, which turns into a pin, into a counter. Laughter all the way through it. The confidence is gone after that, and the match falls apart. You can tell the match has gone to shit as the crowd are yelling “give up” when Maedomari gets caught in an armbar. They’ve seen enough. Me too brrrrrrothers, and sissssssters.  

 

Noriyo Toyoda & Reibun Amada vs. Despina Montagas & Yuki Morimatsu 

More ladies! Onita, you big feminist, you! Toyoda would become “Combat Toyoda” and went on to a series of FMW classics against the likes of Megumi Kudo, Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto. Despina “Batgirl” Montagas is a Greek wrestler who was in the WWF back in the early mid 80s and also worked for AWA. Some people walk in front of the camera, and I miss the opening exchange, but it looked BOTCHY as fuck.  

 

Toyoda is a good character wrestler but at this point, she had NOT got some of the other stuff down. Her strikes suck and she cheats in front of the referee. She only debuted a few months ago, so it’s hard to get annoyed about it. At this point in the show, I’m reminded that I’ve only ever seen edited FMW shows, and BOY is there a reason for that.  

 

For what Toyoda lacks in skill, she makes up for with determination and personality. Everyone in the match feels like they’re at an underdeveloped level, which is definitely a huge problem for women’s wrestling in the early 90s. Everyone that was good in the 80s retired and left this huge hole at the top of the cards. The match has some inventive work in it but far too often the lack of experience shines through.  

 

It does not help that they give them 15:00 to fill. The finish is just awful. Toyoda fucks her finisher up so they re-do it. Toyoda still isn’t happy and they re-do it again. It looked the same all three times. Dreadful. This show is so bad. Why did the guy who taped this even keep it? 

 

Megumi Kudo vs. Miwa Sato 

Big Feminist Atsushi Onita continues his love of booking women’s matches here. Kudo looks more fluid than before, and Sato is a great underdog.  

Kudo helpfully slaps on this submission attempt for long enough for me to get a screenshot. It’s a perfect shot to demonstrate how Kudo bullies Sato throughout. Stretching her and beating her in a variety of ways. Sato won’t quit or stay down though, which is her to a tee. An endearing loser but doesn’t know when she’s beaten.  

 

Sato gets a brief spell working the leg and she really doesn’t know what she’s doing on offence. There is a Figure Four leglock that briefly looks like it might finish but Kudo soon takes over again. Sato almost gets a roll up win, but Kudo counters and pins her. So near, yet so far. This was genuinely good and far better than anything else on the show. Kudo has improved so much in two months. *** 

 

Katsuji Ueda vs. Shooter #1 

Shooter is a guy in a mask, which was an Onita gimmick where he’d just stick guys in masks and call them “Shooter”. This guy is an Onita trainee, who would basically retire this year but come back under the name “Wild Seven”. Ueda is a kickboxer who comes out wearing boxing gloves. The early days of MMA, god bless. About 10 seconds in Shooter realises he’s in a boxing match and he doesn’t know how to box. It’s brutal and is over quickly. At least he sold the KO punch with aplomb.  

 

Street Fight Stretcher Death Match 

Tarzan Goto vs. Ricky Fuji 

Former baseball player Ricky Fuji is going to be a staple of FMW. He had his first match, anywhere, a matter of weeks before this. He’s already gimmicked up the wazoo and comes out to “Youth Gone Wild*” by Skid Row. If you ever wanted to see a crowd brawl filmed by a guy with a static camera somewhere else in the building, boy, do I have a match for you! 

 

*Surely, Ricky Fuji should have come out to “18 & Life”. The opening line is “Ricky was a young boy; he had a heart of stone”. Maybe “Ricky was a sleazeball, you used to play baseball” would have been better but I’m rhyming ball with ball, which is low hanging fruit.  

 

WAIT JUST A DANG MINUTE. I’m assuming Meltzer saw this the same way I’m seeing it and there’s NO way this is four stars, not even on some sort of wacky sliding scale. Fuji bleeds a gusher and gets choked out in about ten minutes, most of which I couldn’t see. On asking the man himself, my friend Keith pointed out Meltzer was probably in Korakuen Hall as he did a Japan trip in 1990. Even so, it’s not four stars or anywhere close.  

 

Atsushi Onita & Lee Gak Soo vs. Sambo Asako & Mitsuteru Tokuda  

This is an extension of the Asako-Gak Soo feud. The latter is a Korean jackass who thinks he’s Bruce Lee. Asako is a chubby guy who yells “ARGH” when he gets hit. It’s a match made in heaven. Onita is less of a bully than Lee but still stamps on Asako’s fat little head.  

 

Tokuda is a judo guy, complete with gi and black belt. Lee tries to use him for target practice too but a) Tokuda seems less into it and b) Lee keeps missing with his big kicks. He does boot Tokuda right in the face, clearly frustrated at missing so much, and draws blood.  

 

The more I see of Lee Gak Soo, the more I understand why he never became a star after being initially taken in by his nuttiness. He is a stiff little bastard. Tokuda, sick of being kicked, literally sweeps the leg when Lee is in mid-air. We are devolving into a shoot here, or upgrading to Karate Kid re-enactment. I’m not sure which.  

 

The cameraman either gets bored or is so into yelling “AARGH” along with Asako that he forgets to focus on the ring. Despite Lee’s unusual behaviour, this is clearly MOTN. Mainly because of how annoyed everyone is getting with him. At one point, they try to double submit him and Onita wades in there punting foreheads.  

 

Onita is such a mean heel, deliberately stopping Asako whenever he has any kind of an advantage. Tokuda gets Onita in a bunch of submissions but Onita ‘escapes’ and hits his finisher to win in around 20:00. This was a fun match with lots of contrasting styles. It didn’t always click, and everyone’s faults were there to see too. I liked it. ***¼  

 

Dick Murdoch vs. Kevin Wacholz  

Murdoch is quite the coup, as he was in WCW the year before and had been a star for NJPW in the 80s. Wacholz, aka Nailz, has decided to wear boxing gloves for this contest. Wacholz had been in AWA for a few years, as “Kevin Kelly” (no, not that one), but is quite bad.  

 

Murdoch is way too generous here and sells for Wacholz’s stupid ‘boxing’ punches. Wacholz can’t do anything and looks like a shit Danny Spivey. Dick quickly gives up and just works the leg, lazily, while everyone laughs. Kevin, the big dumbass, the literal moron, the total imbecile, can’t get out of anything because he’s wearing boxing gloves. 

 

Dick tries to make this not shit. He does. He takes bumps to try and get over the whole ‘boxing gloves’ gimmick but holy shit, does it suck. I feel bad for Murdoch, a great worker in his prime, to have to put up with this bullshit just because he’s old and needs the money.  

 

It’s weird how people aged back in the day. Murdoch is 43 here, going on 50-something. Wacholz punches him for a few minutes solid in R5 so Murdoch slaps him in an armbar and that’s it. A hilariously bad match and a sad way to end the show. I have no idea what Wacholz was thinking wearing boxing gloves. He clearly couldn’t box. This is an embarrassment. Poor Dick Murdoch. -* 

 

The 411: 

This isn’t the best FMW show you’ll ever see but boy, is it an FMW show. Loads of random women’s matches with no rhyme or reason behind them. A load of matches designed to be shoots but look nothing like a shoot. Throw in a random death match and that’s your show. No exploding ring or barbed wire though, so thumbs down. Megumi Kudo looks like a great prospect here and Onita’s wild styles clash match with Asako was good fun.  

 

NEXT: More Tri-State!