UWF Fury Hour #2 (10.8.90) review 

 

October 8, 1990 (Taped: September 24, 1990) 

 

We’re in Reseda, California for episode two of Fury Hour, which was taped right after episode one. Hosts are Herb Abrams & Bruno Sammartino. Tonight’s main event is Billy Jack Haynes vs. Colonel De Beers. It’s the only match that isn’t a job match. Which is upsetting, frankly. The rest are just squashes of various lengths.  

 

 

Cactus Jack vs. Davey Meltzer 

Mick is fuming because he just found out Meltzer will never, ever, give him a five-star rating in his entire career. The Triple H street fight at Royal Rumble 2000 was ****½. I think Mick’s match with Shawn Michaels at IYH Mind Games is legitimately ***** even though it has no finish. Mick, here facing a jobber, still throws in the elbow off the apron because he’s crackers. The jobber here took some rough bumps off basic stuff. 

 

Dan Spivey vs. Scott Cole 

Cole is giving up about six inches in height. He can, at least, bump, therefore making himself useful. Spivey just runs through his entire repertoire. The ref decides to count poor Scott down despite there being no pin. THIS MADE TV! WHY? Spivey wins right afterwards. Match time is 1m9s.  

 

Black Knight vs. Paul Orndorff 

Another WWF jobber here. Bill Anderson regularly jobbed for the WWF under a hood as the Black Knight. He’ll actually show up in FMW under the name Mercenario II, tagging with Sabu (!!!) in 1994. I’m looking forward to it. Knight tries for a sunset flip and lands on top of Paul. Oops. Orndorff quickly turns it into a hammerlock, like a true pro. Don’t re-do the spot whatever you fucking do. There is a general air of incompetence over proceedings and it’s nice to get some professionalism sprinkled in. Piledriver finishes. Orndorff carried this. Fair play to him. No need for it to be 5:00 long though. 

 

 

Steve Williams vs. Larry Ludden 

Ludden is a rare reversal as he’s a UWF jobber who would go on to job in the WWF. Doc gets fed up with him pretty quickly and starts battering the poor bastard. They end up dragging it out for 4:00 for some reason. Oklahoma Stampede finishes and both commentators still haven’t learned the name of the move. 

David Sammartino vs. Houdini 

Not the actual Harry Houdini, who died in 1926 but rather the California jobber who’s using his name. He doesn’t even have an escapologist gimmick where he can get out of holds. Although he does counter a waist lock. I have countered a waist lock. This is not elite tier stuff. “let’s see what magic Houdini can come up with” asks Herb. He promptly gives up to a Figure Four leglock. It speaks volumes about David that not even his dad could find something to talk about here and he got outshone by his jobber. 

 

Captain Lou’s Corner 

Lou Albano has Dan Spivey on the show this week. Lou asks a question about leverage and then looks bored by the response. Albano was just picking up a paycheque for UWF. Wait until he gets on comms though and starts shooting on people.  

 

B. Brian Blair vs. Spitball Patterson

“He spits a lot” says Herb of Patterson’s unusual nickname. The curtain has been fully pulled back here, people. Dan Spivey comes out to interfere, thus progressing the Blair feud towards…nothing at all. Blair, considered the top babyface around here, is a 6/10 out at everything. Promos, in ring, look. Everything is middling. Blair wins with a Sharpshooter and Spivey gets in there to powerbomb him. Once again, there is no pay off to this.  

 

Colonel De Beers vs. Billy Jack Haynes 

De Beers comes out here to “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns n’ Roses, which makes me feel very old. De Beers tells us he won’t have a “black man refereeing my matches”. This is the third non-jobber match so far. The other two had no finishes. Do we think Herb is so useless that he’ll do the same thing again here? Even though one of the ‘stars’ is Colonel De Beers.  

 

De Beers is horrendous here. I know he’s 45 but his bumps are in slow motion. Haynes isn’t much better, and he keeps resorting to rest holds. Herb has given them 10 minutes to play with, and I wish he hadn’t. It is SLUGGISH. They brawl outside and this is a DCO. That was the exact same finish as the main event of Fury Hour #1, in case you weren’t paying attention. That Herb, what a booker! It’s Colonel De Beers, just job him out. Who gives a shit? Crowd are unimpressed with proceedings and loudly boo the finish.  

 

The 411: 

 

I’m starting to remember why my last run at UWF’s Fury Hour didn’t go beyond episode #8. It’s a piss poor show with no quality control, no creativity and no point. The only good thing about this show is Paul Orndorff covering for a jobber’s inability to do moves.