WCW Clash of the Champions #16: Fall Brawl 1991 (9.5.91) review 

 

September 5, 1991 

 

We’re Augusta, Georgia at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. It’s fair to say that WCW’s 1991 has gone completely to shit at this point. The interest in the product after Ric Flair’s sudden summer departure is low. The card is diabolical. Hosts are Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone, and I hope JR is the same miserable son of a bitch who worked Great American Bash ‘91. He was in a bad mood that night. More of the same, Jim, cheers. 

 

 

We also have a secondary team of Eric Bischoff, Missy Hyatt, and Paul E Dangerously. All on hand for interviews. Paul E is about to hit a rich vein of form as the manager of a heel faction; the Dangerous Alliance. Missy will feud with Madusa before going into management herself. Both would end up getting fired by WCW and suing the company. I believe they both got settlements out of court. Eric Bischoff is the guy who fired Hyatt, showing the fragility of relationships in the wrestling business.  

 

Georgia Brawl 

This is just a battle royal. Quite the line up for it though. We have Tom Zenk, Thomas Rich (freshly turned), Bobby Eaton, Ranger Ross (haha, fuck off), “Young Pistol Tracey”, Oz, PN News, Sgt Buddy Lee Parker, Steve Austin, Dustin Rhodes, Terrence Taylor, Big Josh, BARRY WINDHAM, One Man Gang and El Gigante.  

 

Amusingly, this is the last televised match of Ranger Ross’ career. Quite the way to call it quits. Ross is, perhaps predictably, first out although he manages to fall out along with Taylor and Big Josh. Thanks for the memories, Ranger Ross. There will never be another Ranger Ross. As the field clears out, there’s some big meat in there. Windham, surely the biggest star in this, goes out with Austin. Are they about to feud? No, of course not. Austin is programmed with Dustin Rhodes and Windham will be around the world title picture until getting injured.  

 

FINAL FOUR: Oz, Dustin Rhodes, One Man Gang & El Gigante. Presumably this is to make Dustin look small and vulnerable. Some absolute hosses out here. “Huuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh….meat” – Jim Ross, probably. The heels chuck Dustin out but spend too long celebrating, and El Gigante bonks them both out. Well, Oz had to eliminate himself. Naturally, this wasn’t good, but Steve Austin and Barry Windham looked like a hell of a match.  

 

Badstreet vs. Flyin’ Brian 

This is the semi-final in the WCW Light Heavyweight tournament. This whole tournament is designed to put Pillman over because he’s too small to wrestle the heavyweights. This company, man. He was the best opponent Flair had all year. Anyway, he was banned from competing and had been wearing a mask as Yellow Dog. This is his return as Pillman. He’s been reinstated…for reasons. 

 

This whips along at a strong pace. Especially after that last match. Comms explain how it’s not illegal to suplex someone to the floor because you, yourself, are not in the ring. What? Anyway, who cares? We’re having a nice time. Pillman, in “a mood”, takes a spot into the rail and then, FOR A LARF, hits a tope and goes face first into the rail again. Pillman wins with a high cross and this was tremendous. An early incarnation of the cruiserweight style that WCW’s undercards would get known for. Splendid. ***¼ 

 

WCW United States Championship 

Sting (c) vs. Johnny B. Badd 

Badd is only in his second major match, has yet to lose and is wearing pink lipstick. The US title was vacated by Lex Luger as he’d won the big gold belt and couldn’t hold both. Sting won the title in a tournament, beating Steve Austin in the final.  

We get a split screen to show how Sting got attacked by Abdullah the Butcher recently. Sting is not in the mood to sell for Marc Mero, but it’s a pity as they have great chemistry. The match is just starting to get going when another gift box is delivered to Sting. The arrival of the box coincides with Johnny B. Badd forgetting how to wrestle. He just falls over on an Irish whip for no reason.  

If that didn’t convince you Mero wasn’t ready for the spot, he then decides the present is FOR HIM and gets all excited about it. Oh boy. Teddy Long is all “are you fucking stupid, brother”. Sting wins out of nowhere with a horrendous roll up and CACTUS JACK runs in to kick Sting’s ass, thus saving him of having to wrestle Johnny B. Badd again. Damn, I’ve missed Jack’s entire Global run. I’ll have to go back. *½ 

 

It’s mad that Mick Foley was gone for an entire year. It feels like WCW went nowhere without him and he killed it on the Indies. Having one barnburner after another. He came back with a much better reputation.  

 

Mike Graham vs. Richard Morton 

Oh, you don’t remember this random 1991-92 run where Mike Graham got signed by WCW and was supposed to help form the light heavyweight division? Mike Graham gets unfairly tossed in with some of the worst second-generation wrestlers. He was definitely overpushed and, like Greg Gagne, would have been a decent midcarder if his surname didn’t match the promoters.  

 

I’ll give it to Mike too, his punches are decent, and I like his selling. His single leg into the Figure Four is tidy too. I’ll admit Morton helps him a lot with his bumping and selling. JR claims Graham is 219lbs. He’s about a buck eighty. He’s 5’8” Jim. Mike’s biggest flaw, other than his size and the nepotism, is how dated his style is in 1991. Alexandra York distracts Nick Patrick….for reasons, and Morton just gets a roll up with a handful of tights to progress to meet Pillman in the tournament final. This was ok. ** 

 

We bring out Bill Kazmaier for some feats of strength. Tonight he bends a steel rod around his neck. Arn Anderson runs in to bash him in the ribs with some of the weights that were for background dressing. Try bending that, bitch! Kazmaier was legitimately very strong, as many wrestlers are, and won World’s Strongest Man three times in the 1980s. Could he wrestle? Well…. 

 

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Todd Champion & Firebreaker Chip 

FIREBREAKER CHIP! What a patriot! He fights fires…for AMERICA. If the fire isn’t threatening America, he does not choose to fight it. He doesn’t just fight it either, he BREAKS IT. He breaks that fire up. If you’ve never seen this patriotic duo, you’re not missing much. Two roided up meathead midcarders, who look like they got trained by OVW in 2002. The match is, if I’m polite, “basic”. The Freebirds carry it, and both meatheads are unconvincing. Freebirds cheat to win but are allowed to by lunkhead Champion. This was not good. ½*. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that Champion & Chip were not TV ready. Neither guy would make a living in the wrestling biz.  

 

Paul E brings out Cactus Jack to ask him who paid him to attack Sting. There’s another present at ringside, which Jack thinks is Abby but it’s Sting. God, this company is stupid. At least when the stupidity clears, Foley is willing to kill himself for our amusement. He takes a fucking hip toss off the ramp here. You would think this would lead to a wild singles match, and it does, nine months later.  

 

“My jersey was retired at Florida State”. They’re doing a job of building Simmons as number one contender for Luger at the moment. Jim Ross gets excited about talking to coach Bobby Bowden. At time of writing Bowden is still alive, aged 91. He believes Simmons has the required moxy to capture gold in the WCW, brother. 

 

Diamond Studd vs. Ron Simmons 

It boggles the mind they didn’t know what to do with Scott Hall. The man is incredble looking, can talk, has aura and he can wrestle. How do you miss with that? History will record him as a much bigger star and bigger influence than Ron Simmons. He has a better showing here too with Simmons lacking the explosive qualities they think he has. Shoulderblock finishes in lame fashion. Ron is fine, but he’s nowhere near good enough to be in the title picture. * 

 

I’m not kidding when I say that Hall was good enough here to be a generational talent, and they had him jobbing. By the time they figured out he was potentially the biggest star in the world, he’d developed alcohol issues and wouldn’t ever reach the highs he was so close to here.  

 

Terrence Taylor vs. Van Hammer 

We already sat through Taylor once. Why is he wrestling again? Hammer is making his debut here and for some reason WCW think he’s going to be good. He does the STOMP, STOMP, CLAP gimmick. Kneedrop off the ropes finishes in about a minute. Ha, unlucky Terry! DUD 

 

This was Van Hammer’s first match anywhere. Apparently, and I don’t know how much of this is true; WCW tried to slyly suggest it was the Ultimate Warrior without makeup on. Seeing as he was gone from the WWF around this time. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would have even thought it was Hellwig. I don’t remember Van Hammer doing anything of note during his entire WCW run. I guess his high-water mark would be as a part of Raven’s Flock. A stable where they just kept giving Raven guys they couldn’t get over.  

 

Video Control takes us backstage where Missy is trying to interview Lex and Ron Simmons busts in to ruin it.  

 

WCW TV Championship 

Steve Austin (c) vs. Z-Man 

This is surprisingly sluggish. Austin isn’t experienced enough to force the pace, and Zenk goes into rest holds way too often for a blue eye. Even Zenk’s dive out of the ring feels pedestrian. Austin gets the Stungun out of nowhere and….doesn’t cover? Instead, Zenk gets an inside cradle for a near fall. Why would you hit your finish, not cover at all, and, in fact, nearly lose? That’s just shit psychology. Lady Blossom passes Austin brass knucks, and he whacks Zenk with them to retain (in the same style as Savage-Santana). This was a real yawner. Nearly ten minutes of pedestrian action. I blame Zenk, as Austin is one of the greatest pro-wrestlers of all time. ½* 

 

Video Control gives us yet another Ron Simmons segment where he’s doing appearances for kids in Atlanta. Could you stop shoving him down my throat here lads? It’s actually getting obnoxious. We then get ANOTHER Ron Simmons segment where he drives kids to the Omni. Look, we get it, he’s a nice guy. I hope Luger beats him. We go from this to the contract signing. Luger is snappily dressed as he’s now cosplaying as Ric Flair.  

Luger signs the match contract and puts Simmons over before suggesting he should come and work for him as he needs a decent chaffeur. Ron, clearly annoyed by Luger’s tone, jumps him and a scuffle ensues. Lex escapes in a stretch limo. To be fair to them, I want to see the match after this, but Luger is just playing Flair here. His individuality is gone. It’s funny watching this back as Triple H’s attempts to cosplay as Ric Flair came off as even more low rent than Luger’s attempts here. 

 

Enforcers (Arn Anderson & Larry Zbyzsko vs. Rick Steiner & Bill Kazmaier 

This is YOUR main event. Scott Steiner is out so Rick, braindead fucking moron that he is, replaced him with Kaz. This is for the vacant WCW tag belts as the Steiners had to give them up after the Hardliners legitimately injured Scott. The trouble is that they’ve taken so long to sort out new champs that Scott will be back in action by the next PPV. By the time they get around to putting the belts back on the Steiners, the best team in the world at the time, they’d got fed up and jumped ship to the WWF.  

 

Sensibly they keep Kaz on the apron for the whole match until he tags himself in. Arn whacks him in the ribs and that’s the match in like three minutes. Haha. What a promotion. ½* 

 

The 411: 

This show was just sad. Jim Herd’s stupidity is the main problem. Dusty Rhodes can’t book his way out of a paper bag in 1991. The talent is there but isn’t being used. With Scott Steiner injured and Flair gone, you would think they’d start using Sting and Luger more. Instead, Luger is reduced to a contract signing, and Sting gets stuck with a rookie. In pigeonholing Pillman as a smaller wrestler, they’ve created an exciting division, but also lost one of their biggest assets for the main events.  

 

Steve Austin, Cactus Jack, Scott Hall, Bobby Eaton and “Badstreet” are all stuck doing nothing. It’s just a fucking disaster. The second half of 1991 is so bad for WCW. Which is mad when you compare it to earlier in the year and Wrestlewar, where the company is doing great stuff. Thumbs down and avoid this, ffs, but check out Pillman vs. Armstrong if you want to see a good match from the time period. It’s amazing to me that 1992 is one of the best years in the company’s history considering how shit these shows are.