Adventures in Football #125: St Mirren Park (St Mirren) 

 

May 14, 2025 

 

ST MIRREN vs. HIBERNIAN (Scottish Premiership) 

 

 

Eager to score one more ground before the season ended, and finally free from parental care duties after my father has recovered from his run of poor health, we’re in Scotland. Maria and I have been married for 16 years and chose to celebrate this year by travelling to Scotland, picking up Eddie Sideburns, and driving into the beating heart of Paisley. St Mirren Football Club. Thanks to Eddie, we had no issues locating street parking. It’s a busy club and the ground was rammed for an end of the season showdown. St Mirren’s final home game of the season. Hibs needing merely a point to secure European football next season.  

 

Initially I rather baulked at the current name of St Mirren Park the “SMiSA Stadium”. That was until I found out what SMiSA stood for. It’s the supporters themselves. To avoid the horrors of corporate naming deals, they’ve sponsored the stadium. Fair fucking play lads. I respect the shit out of that. There is further evidence of St Mirren eschewing the recent Scottish tradition of flogging the club to a rich foreign owner.  

 

 

Fair fucking play, boys. Keep the Yanks out of Paisley. There’s enough of them going around Scotland on buses as it is. You can’t swing a cat near Loch Lomond without hitting one of the whinging bastards.  

 

 

From the outside St Mirren Park looks like a tidy affair. The lower brick/upper steel siding approach is reminiscent of Millwall and Mansfield. The stadium was opened in 2009, the same year we got married. It’s appropriate both have lasted and thrived and are still having a nice time 16 years later. As we chat about tonight’s game Eddie informs me, I have purchased tickets in with the Ultras. On the seating plan, it looked like the away end was at the other end of the pitch. It’s not. We’re right by it.  

 

 

A quick shout out from Futbology here, thanking me for doing 125 grounds. My pleasure, lads. Part of the pleasure of racking up 125 grounds is the sheer variety of grounds, clubhouses, fanbases and countries I’ve done as part of it. St Mirren is no different. When I went to Clapton on non-league day we went into the Ultras section, and I lasted about 30 minutes before the incessant drumming and aggressively communal chanting gave me a headache.  

 

 

Well, we’re in this for the 90 minutes. My initial fears, based on people having already occupied our seats, were relieved when we were told anywhere was fair game in this part of the ground. First come, first served. It did feel that way and we occupied a few seats in the row behind and were not bothered by anyone. Ultras culture is something I struggle with a bit. If you’re one of these Ultra chant leaders; do you even like football? The whole game these fellas aren’t watching. They’re staring into the fans, yelling into a megaphone, relentlessly.  

 

 

There’s also this constant din. Chanting and banging drums, regardless of what’s happening on the field. Hibs score a few minutes into the game and the noise just continues. Australian international Martin Boyle turning in a Junior Hoilett centre for 0-1. It got worse. Mykola Kukharevych netting on 10’. Another assist for Hoilett. It could be more as only an offside flag prevented Hibs getting another. Green flares are going off in the away end and it’s TAPS AFF in places. 0-2. 

 

On 18’ it’s nearly three. A break away chance denied by Buddies stopper Zach Hemming. The same Hemming is lucky to not concede a penalty or get himself a red card with an outrageous piece of defending after half an hour. St Mirren have been god awful in the opening 45 minutes of play. It’s hard to imagine them as one of the best six teams in Scotland. Hibs should be out of sight and their fans look thrilled. Even the die-hard Ultras around us feel disheartened at the performance and a few players are on the end of home fan ire. Roland Idowu, in particular, for some awful passing choices in the first half. 

One of the most frustrating aspects of St Mirren’s play in their set pieces. They seem scared to play the ball into the penalty area at all. Deep in stoppage time they finally do and Richard Taylor scores. Volleying home the second ball. 1-2. Hey, maybe put the ball in the box more often? There is a lengthy delay while VAR measure Taylor’s big toe to see if it had snuck past three players into an offside position but eventually the officials decide it was, in fact, a goal. Something everyone else had happily agreed to a few minutes earlier. A “Fuck VAR” chant is heard around the ground. Amen, brothers and sisters. 

In the second half St Mirren make a few substitutions and suddenly look dangerous going forwards. On 65’ a left wing cross is turned in by sub Conor McMenamin, who’d only been on the field for four minutes. 2-2. VAR have a say about it but after measuring everyone’s toes and McMenamin’s cock, they discover he was, in fact, onside. The goal stands. TAPS AFF in the Paisley Ultras. The laboured chanting of the first half has been replaced by genuine energy and passion. They just needed something to route for. That first half performance wasn’t it.  

 

St Mirren nearly have three points to celebrate only for a 70’ winner to be chalked off for a foul off the ball somewhere. Possibly in another game. VAR has a look at it and indeed there was a foul at Ibrox Park against a Rangers player so it’s a free kick to Hibs. A scandalous display of refereeing. St Mirren robbed of a perfectly good winning goal. Everyone seems mystified why it was ruled out, so we just chant about how much we hate VAR again. Oh, good lord, I said “we”. I have been corrupted.  

 

The game rather fizzles out after that. Junior Hoilett commits a horrendous dive, and a free kick is given against him. Despite him attempting to win a penalty, via cheating, he is not punished further. Unless you include him being booed from the field of play when replaced by Josh Campbell. Potential late drama as former Newcastle striker Dwight Gayle came off the bench for Hibs. However, he has clearly stopped giving a shit about football, so no more goals were forthcoming.  

 

 

FINAL SCORE: St Mirren 2 Hibs 2 VAR 3 

 

A spectacular win for the officials and they worked hard for it. Hibs secure Europa League with the point. Let’s give St Mirren some scores and we’ll be on our merry way. 

 

ATMOSPHERE: 

I am debating whether they deserve the full boat here. They had the same persistence and determination of the teams I have given maximum scores to. However, it felt forced to begin with and the atmosphere only hit the full gear when St Mirren got back into the game after being shite for 45 minutes. We’ll go close with ****½  

 

COST: 

£27 here, a pound less than Hibs, although significantly more than I paid for a League Cup game at St Johnstone. Given St Mirren’s fan ownership, I don’t mind paying it at all. ***½ 

 

QUALITY: 

If St Mirren had played, at all, in the first half this would be a big score. It was a great game of football, and both teams tried hard. Just not at the same time. ***½ 

 

EASE OF ACCESS: 

Right next door to Paisley St James train station. ***** 

 

MISC: 

While the atmosphere was dominant, the ground is new and doesn’t feel special. There’s really nothing to write home about. You could transplant those fans into any building and get the same reaction. It does feel cookie cutter and it’s the fans that make it special. I appreciate the club being fan owned. * 

 

OVERALL: 17.5 

A brilliant football club that won me over in spades here. While I enjoyed St Johnstone earlier in the season, this blows St Johnstone away. A proper football club with proper fans and I enjoyed my time here. My advice to the Ultras though is to scale it back at times. You don’t need to chant non-stop. If no one is feeling it then take a break and come back stronger. Like St Mirren did in this game. Brilliant fans though, I felt right at home in with their Ultras. Sorry I didn’t know all your songs lads. Keep singing them.