Arn Does Euro 2024 Day 12 

 

Did I forget to do previews for Saturday’s games? Why no, I just couldn’t be arsed. You know how it is. For what it’s worth I predicted Italy to win 2-1, via shithousery, and Germany to win 3-0. So, I wasn’t exactly bang on with those shouts.  

 

SWITZERLAND 2 ITALY 0 

Good lord, Italy were shit here. Shitaly, even. It’s one of the worst Italian sides I’ve seen in a long time. All that wing play and exciting running from Euro 2020 is GONZO, brrrrrother. All that remains is a good keeper and solid central defenders and there isn’t even any depth in those positions. It’s literally Donnarumma, Bastoni and Calafiori. Barella is the only other good player, and he tweaked his hammy in this game and wasn’t a factor afterwards.  

 

Switzerland though, played like a team. Playing like a team, and not a bunch of individuals who slyly hate each other (coughNetherlandscough) is underrated in tournament football. The Swiss were better in every position and deserved to win. The forward three pulled Italy’s back line into positions they didn’t want to be in and then the midfielders provided runners. The defence was solid, and Italy could barely create anything. A great performance and a famous, comfortable, win.  

 

ELIMINATED: ITALY (assessment) 

Hoooo boy, Luciano Spaletti is going to get some shit for this but let’s face it, it’s not all his fault. Maybe he probably shouldn’t have picked El Shaarawy, Mancini, Cristante and Scamacca when he needed to win a game, but the squad was piss poor.  

 

Donnarumma, Bastoni and Calafiori all played really well and gave Italy a solid base for this tournament but none of their full backs could cope with being run at. Like DRIBBLING was a brand-new concept. Every time someone ran at Dimarco or Di Lorenzo they looked terrified. Every team with wingers could have scored against Italy.  

 

Then there’s the midfield. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a weaker Italian midfield. Barella, Jorginho and Pellegrini wasn’t a bad starting three. You’ve got some intelligence, good decision making and running in there. It’s not a shit show. But you get past those three players and into the depths of this squad and it sucks. Cristante, Fagioli, Frattesi. These are not good players. 

 

Up top was even worse. Italy have always had gifted number ten’s who can cause defences problems high up the pitch. What happened? Chiesa and Raspadori are both shadows of their former selves and the collection of attacking options starts and ends with them. Italy are so strapped for strikers they played Gianluca Scamacca up front this tournament and stuck with him!  

 

I’ve always admired Italy for producing quality players and being able to switch it on and off at will, something other nations struggle with. This Italy team was shocking. Where do the next generation come from though? Look at Cristian Volpato, for example. He’s a player I really like. He plays for Sassuolo and is in Italy’s U-21’s. But he can barely get a kick for Sassuolo and they were shit this season.  

 

GETTING SIDETRACKED 

Sassuolo were relegated but look at their midfielders. The ones who start regularly, ahead of Volpato. Mattheus Henrique (Brazil), Kristian Thorstvedt (Norway), Armand Lauriente (France), Daniel Boloca (Romania), Nedim Bajrami (Albania). Serie A used to be more strict about imports and it did help the national team, but Italians rarely leave Italy. They have the same problem England used to have. Look at how long it took for that to get fixed with grass roots support for English players. This current generation with Foden and Bellingham is the first one where England have looked on a par with the creativity of other countries. That’s how long it’ll take Italy to fix their national team. I’m still stunned they won Euro 2020. It should go down as an all-time shock.  

 

GERMANY 2 DENMARK 0 

Aside from the poor performance from Michael Oliver and the incompetent English VAR team, Germany probably did enough to win this. There were a lot of talking points. Joshua Kimmich’s terrible foul/block which cost Germany a 1-0 lead after 4’. Andersen’s ‘offside’ goal where you could debate whether he gained any advantage from being offside and whether the ‘phase’ was over. The Andersen handball where the arm was in a natural position and Denmark were unlucky. You can’t debate Havertz’s resultant penalty, which was perfect.  

 

Some shambolic refereeing later and Musiala got put in over the top for 2-0. Game over. Denmark played well in chunks of the game and were unlucky with some of the calls. Statistically, Germany should have won here, and they did enough. It was a difficult task against a stubborn Denmark side but ideally you don’t want a goal-shy Danish team going deep here. Let’s keep the entertaining hosts in.  

 

ELIMINATED: DENMARK (assessment) 

Kasper Schmeichel and the assorted defenders in front of him were solid in this tournament and Denmark never looked like getting blown away by anyone. The weakest they looked, aside from late on against Germany, was in the second half against Slovenia. With Schmeichel at 37, Vestergaard at 31 you wonder what they’ll look like defensively in the next tournament. Especially with key midfielders Eriksen and Delaney also getting up there in age.  

 

Denmark’s biggest problem in this tournament was scoring goals. Or rather, not scoring goals. The pressure is coming for Rasmus Hojlund, who has been a hard working but inconsistent force for Man Utd this season. During the Euros, Hojlund rarely looked like adding to his tally of international goals. He got subbed off in every game and looked like he would never bag. Beyond him, the reading is grim.  

 

Wolfsburg’s Jonas Wind had a good season in the Bundesliga but never looked like scoring, or doing anything, here. Andreas Skov Olsen, of Club Brugge, had less time but did little with it. Finally, Leipzig’s Yussuf Poulsen ran around a lot but with no end product. Denmark either need to find a new striker or hope Hojlund turns into the one he’s supposed to be. Or they’ll have more tournaments like this one. Struggling for goals. 

 

Team of the Tournament (R16) 

GK: Sommer 

RB: Kimmich  

LB: Raum  

CB: Akanji 

CB: Schlotterbeck  

MF: Xhaka 

MF: Andrich  

MF: Aebischer 

LW: Musiala  

RW: Vargas 

ST: Havertz  

 

NEXT: 

 

ENGLAND vs. SLOVAKIA 

Look, so, England have been awful so far. However, there is still some optimism because of the draw and because of how England improved towards the end of the Slovenia game. Largely, there is hope that Southgate will make good substitutions going forward instead of just guessing. Hope, it’s a real killer. I keep hoping they’ll get knocked out so I can just enjoy the fucking tournament but here we go again.  

 

England have won every game they’ve ever played against Slovakia…apart from the one time they’ve played them in a tournament. At Euro 2016, they played out a drab 0-0 group stage match. Why does that sound so familiar?  

 

Slovakia are not short on talent. Unlike Slovenia or Serbia, they’re not blessed with big stars and cramped by weak areas of the field. The back line has been solid around Milan Skriniar. There’s some real talent in midfield. Lukas Haraslin has looked dangerous going at defenders. Stanislav Lobotka has had a good tournament. Up top Ivan Schranz has scored two goals.  

 

I do think England will win here because while Slovakia are talented…so is everyone now. If England can’t get past Slovakia, why are they even here? Prediction: 1-0  

 

SPAIN vs. GEORGIA 

I hope Georgia turn up to this game with a degree of attacking intent because they’ve looked better when they attack teams. However, that is likely to be a suicidal approach against Spain, who boast quick, talented players who can hurt you on the counter. An ideal game would be a basketball style match where it goes end to end at a frantic pace for about an hour before Spain settle in and put the game in the cooler.  

 

It’s tough to consider Georgia for the win here because they lack the skill to compete one on one with a lot of the Spanish lads. Plus they tend to get tired late in games and get punished for all that hard running early doors. Whatever happens, they’ve had a marvellous tournament and I respect their approach. Prediction: 3-1