Arn Does Euro 2024 Day 5 

 

If all goes correctly, you’ll be reading this between Spain vs. Italy and the next day’s fixtures because I’ll have got my shit together and got the article out. Otherwise, it’ll be a double day disaster because I’m at work and I don’t get home until after Slovakia vs. Ukraine on Friday.  

 

SLOVENIA 1 SERBIA 1 

Slovenia showed all the same passion and determination they showed in the second half against Denmark. All the midfielders played well, considering. Former Northampton Town man Timi Elsnik had a fantastic game. Where Serbia saved face was with their back line, which kept the main Slovenian threats quiet throughout. Benjamin Sesko included.  

 

Serbia rescued a point with the last touch of the game, a Jovic header, but in all honesty that front line had looked poor all game. Jovic especially, who had been crap until scoring. The lack of great performances from the forwards was the only thing that stopped this being a high scoring game.  

 

The last 20 minutes of this was really fun. Not just for the big chances, at both ends, but also for just how rowdy the crowd got. I’m no Serb fan but their decision to rain trash on Janza while he was trying to prep for a long throw were exactly what you want to see at the football.  

 

DENMARK 1 ENGLAND 1 

England were the same as they were in MD1, which is not surprising because Southgate picked the same 11 players. Trent was crap, again. Build up play was way too slow. There was no pressure. Despite that, and thanks to Walker’s running, England still took the lead. And then, like against Serbia (only much earlier), they just stopped playing and let Denmark back into it. 1-1 at HT.  

 

Southgate, frustrating clown that he is, never once adjusted anything and kept doing the same thing. Down to removing Trent for Gallagher, again. He eventually went brave on the subs (Kane for Watkins was inspired) but he still left Cole Palmer and Anthony Gordon on the bench. Two players who could have got in behind. It ended up being an awful performance from England with no energy at all. Denmark were ok and did enough to win it.  

 

THE DREADED ENGLAND PLAYER RATINGS: 

 

Jordan Pickford. His distribution was somewhat better than against Serbia but otherwise, the same long punts down field. ** 

 

Kyle Walker. Contributed going forward. Looked like a genuine threat whenever he crossed the halfway line. Southgate doesn’t let him get forward often enough. *** 

 

Kieran Trippier. Still can’t play left back. * 

 

John Stones. Had a bad game by his lofty standards. Didn’t look comfortable at all in possession. Never threatened to advance with the ball. Passing wasn’t progressive at all. **½  

 

Marc Guehi. Arguably England’s best player. Defended well but was caught in possession and needed to firefight his own mistakes. ***½  

 

Declan Rice. Had an awful, awful game. Sat in front of the back four and passed it sideways throughout. Totally lacking any spark and was caught in possession a lot. *½  

 

Trent Alexander-Arnold. Dreadful with loads of misplaced passing, again. And, once again, he cannot play in midfield. * 

 

Jude Bellingham. Had a stinker compared to the opener. Just went missing. **½  

 

Bukayo Saka. Showed some threat sporadically. *** 

 

Phil Foden. As with the opener he was out of position and wasn’t performing. He got involved a lot more but got subbed early-ish. **½  

 

Harry Kane. Scored, so at least there’s that going for him. Didn’t make a single run, all game. ** 

 

Subs: 

Connor Gallagher. Ran around a lot. *½  

Jarrod Bowen. I didn’t notice him after he came on. * 

Ollie Watkins. Made one run in behind to great effect and then went to sleep. **½  

Eberechi Eze. Underwhelming ** 

 

SPAIN 1 ITALY 0 

What a contrasting performance to the England one. Spain were electric here with Nico Williams (he had Di Lorenzo on toast) and Yamine Lamal both being exciting in wide areas. The midfield passing, which can get slow (traditionally) for Spain, was on point. Rodri, Ruiz and Pedri running the show, using the wide men and causing problems for the entire first half. Italy were hanging on.  

 

Spain’s only major issue is the drop off in quality after the starting XI. Their bench players are just not on the same level. Although, Ayoze Perez violated the already bruised Di Lorenzo in the last twenty minutes. Italy had, maybe, five good minutes across the entire game. They were completely outplayed and not in a boring tiki-taka fashion. It was quality and speed. Spain could use better finishing and more depth but otherwise they’re one of the best teams in the tournament.  

 

TOPS 

Zan Karnicnik (Slovenia). Had a good game against Denmark but stepped up his game here. Scored and made a key defensive block too. One error, where he left Serbia’s winger go completely, went unpunished.  

 

Ivan Ilic (Serbia). Had a cracking game in midfield, against a lively Slovenian midfield that batted above average against him. His delivery into dangerous areas deserved better and was rewarded with an assist on 90+5’.  

 

Rodri, Pedri, Ruiz, Cucurella, Williams, Yamal etc, etc. Spain are the tits.  

 

FLOPS 

Benjamin Sesko (Slovenia). Was told Sesko was a baller pre-tournament. He looked decent against Denmark, and threatened from range, but was much quieter against Serbia and failed to live up to his reputation. None of the forwards in the game played well but Sesko stood out because of his talent.  

 

Gareth Southgate (England). The same shit selection as last game. The same issues stemming from the same selection issues (Trent can’t play in midfield, Trippier can’t play left back) and the same cowardice and lack of urgency. Rubbish, as per usual. He’s too scared to attack. That’s all this squad have!  

 

Trent Alexander-Arnold (England). Useless, again. Subbed off because he can’t play there, again.  

 

Federico Chiesa (Italy). I tried to pick an Italian player who deserved this. He was supposed to be an out-ball for the team and too often he just didn’t control it, or gave it away. Chiesa was quality for Italy at the last Euros, but he looked hopeless here. Di Lorenzo also had a stinker, but he had the best player on the pitch running at him for 70’ and the best sub for the remaining 20’.  

 

Team of the Tournament (Match Day 2)  

GK: Donnarumma 

RB: Karnicnak  

LB: Cucurella 

CB: Rudiger  

CB: Bastoni  

MF: Ruiz  

MF: Gundogan  

MF: Rodri 

LW: Williams  

RW: Musiala/Yamal 

ST: Ndoye 

 

 

NEXT 

 

SLOVAKIA vs. UKRAINE 

Slovakia pulled a miracle out of their ass and bested Belgium on MD1. I did not see that coming. It’s slashed their odds for the Ukraine game, especially as Ukraine were crap against Romania. Slovakia can’t get that lucky with marginal decisions two games running. The faintest handball and a narrow offside is the difference between them being sat here on 3pts and basically finished on null.  

 

Ukraine surely won’t be that bad two games in a row either. These two haven’t played each other since 2018, so there’s no real history to go off. Slovakia won that game 4-1 but Ukraine have been galvanised since thanks to the war. When was the last time they actually beat someone good though? The omens, for me, slant towards a draw. Ukraine can’t kill teams off and Slovakia will take the point. Prediction: 1-1 

 

POLAND vs. AUSTRIA 

This should be tasty! Or not. Both teams need to win so we’ll either get an end to end ‘anything can happen’ game or a game where both teams are scared to lose. I hope it’s the former, but it’s far more likely to be the latter. Austria don’t get a lot of goals, but they don’t concede many either. They’ll likely run Poland ragged with their energy.  

 

The last time these two clashed in the Euro qualifiers, back in 2019, it was 0-0. The other game in that qualifying section was 1-0 Poland. I am not expecting many goals here. If Lewandowski is fit, that could provide a boost to Poland, but Austria came close to France, who are one of the favourites for the whole thing. If they keep up that energetic performance against Poland, I think they win. Just. Prediction: 0-1 

 

NETHERLANDS vs. FRANCE 

France have been handicapped by an injury to star man Kylian Mbappe, but the Dutch injury issues are far more of a concern for me. Missing key midfielders Frenkie de Jong and Teun Koopmeiners has left them looking soft in the middle of the park. If France can cope with Cody Gakpo’s running, the Dutch don’t offer a lot going forwards either.  

 

The question then remains as to whether France, without Mbappe, can break down a strong, organised Netherlands defence. It has bore draw written all over it. That said, France have recently drubbed the Netherlands, home and away, in qualifying for this tournament. On both those occasions Mbappe scored twice. So, it’ll be tighter here. Prediction: 1-2 (1-3 if Mbappe is fit)