GCW/JCW vs. The World (4.4.24) review 

 

April 4, 2024 

 

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK REVIEW #13 

 

Source: Triller TV+ (£7.99 per month) 

 

It took me 40 minutes to pick this show. I debated for ages what to watch because I missed one evening of wrestling and I’m now 14 shows behind. FOURTEEN. I hate it here. We’re in Philly at the Caterers for a Collective show. Nick Knowledge (another terrible commentator name) and Veda Scott on the call.  

 

 

Jordan Oliver vs. Aigle Blanc 

I like Aigle Blanc and apparently Jordan Oliver isn’t shit anymore. We immediately get thigh slaps. Good god, this is awful. Awful, awful, dancey bullshit. They do a spot in this where Oliver tries a suplex and they fall over the ropes but then it becomes a brainbuster on the floor and that’s just one of the stupid moves they do for no reason. Just a complete throwaway amid a stream of piss. They do 11 minutes of shit like that. The DDT on the apron, where Oliver doesn’t take a bump at all and just flips onto the floor is a crime. Just make them stop. Stop doing this. OH THANK FUCK, IT’S OVER.  

 

Griffin McCoy vs. Session Moth Martina 

Martina still wrestles? She’s also done away with Sandstorm.  

You’d think sexual assault style spots went out with Joey Ryan but here we are. The sad thing is, Martina isn’t a bad worker, but she’s pigeonholed herself and is now stuck doing beer and sex spots forever. There isn’t a good European promotion for her to reinvent herself in either. The finish here is dreadful. The ref gets in the way, for some reason, and McCoy rakes the eyes to win. Yes, he raked the eyes. Martina obviously couldn’t see the count to kick out. This was terrible and I’m begging Martina to turn heel.  

 

JCW Championship  

Masha Slamovich (c) vs. Syuri 

Before we launch into this match, I’d like to remind everyone this started at midnight local time. Keep that in mind.  

Masha is coming off wrestling Shayna Baszler. You would think she’d want a nice quickie here but hey, what do I know? The match is pedestrian. It starts out slow, continues slowly and I’m pretty sure I see a dude asleep in the crowd. It’s so sluggish I go and have a little nap.  

 

If I oversaw WrestleMania week, I would ban matches over 15 minutes. Maybe extend that to 20 minutes for exceptional circumstances. You would have to apply for a permit. The weird thing is, I love both these wrestlers, but we shouldn’t go broadway. Fuck that. It’s 1am in the building and people are TIRED. They don’t even finish hot. It just trickles up to 30 minutes and it’s finally over. I watched this match, and I don’t think anything actually happened in it. 

 

Los Desperados (Arez, Gringo Loco & Latigo) vs. Team Dragon Gate (Dragon Kid, Shun Skywalker & YAMATO) 

Coming into the weekend, I was hyped for Dragon Gate being here and now if I see another high spot I may smash my keyboard to pieces. I am all spotted out.  

Shun Skywalker though, what a worker. He knows what I want. Sitting in the crowd, doing nothing. Elite tier. It’s a sad indictment of how burned out I am at this point that the only enjoyment I get from the action is Dragon Kid slipping off the ropes. They totally should have booked YAMATO vs. Arez here because they have a great little chop contest in this. Someone does a tope and Gringo Loco finishes with a moonsault, greeted by a polite round of applause from a crowd who want to be in bed but can’t because they’ve paid for this show. 

 

Manders, Alec Price & Cole Radrick vs. Fuminori Abe, Takuya Nomura & Rina Yamashita 

Oh god, another trios match? Why would you book two in a row? This is better than the last one because it has Manders and Nomura in it and they get into a scrap. Abe also pops me with that baseball punch. He tagged Price with it. The better spots just serve to remind me that GCW had Astronauts and booked them in this. Rina hits a Splash Mountain through a board on Cole to win. All the cool bits in this didn’t involve a certain tag team who have “gahbage” in their name. I have no idea why they booked this but it wasn’t good.  

 

Emil Jay announces a 14 man tag and the VOD doesn’t have it all on here so we’re done.  

 

The 411: 

Total waste of time.