JCW Stranglemania Viva las Violence (4.17.26) review 

 

April 17, 2026 

 

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK REVIEW #10 

 

Good morning from the Horseshoe. I woke up about 15 minutes ago and wouldn’t you know it; Spring Break was still going. So, that’s a 4.5 hour+ show I need to find room for at some point. Also, there’s no way this show starts on time. Thanks, Joseph. I’m joined in the viewing room by Eddie Sideburns for this one and Alan will be popping on towards the end.  

30 minutes later… 

1 hour later… 

I waited two hours for this? A metaphor for JCW in general. A load of rubbish. 

 

Promo Time: Violent J 

Yeah, wait until 2am to cut a promo. MAAAAAAARRRRKKKKKKKKKK.  

We then get a backstage angle with Vince Russo and Jasmine StClair. MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKSSSS.  

 

Beastman, Kongo Kong & Mr Happy vs. “Juggalo” George South & Rock N’ Roll Express  

Everyone talks over the ring announcer. I’ll give it to Vince Russo, he’s made Sam Stackhouse watchable. This match is embarrassing but in a way where I’m laughing with it not at it. These old duffers know this is the shits and just go along with it. This match is so bad, btw. It’s just woeful. Eddie hasn’t stopped laughing since it started. Mr Happy gets confused and piles into Kongo Kong and George South pins him. -**** 

 

Imagine waiting until 1am to watch this garbage. Haha. Brilliant. 

 

Hahahaha. I’m laughing so much.  

 

 

Mickie Knuckles vs. Kerry Morton 

“Claude” (Brian Zane) is the referee for this. Both he and Morton cut promos. IT IS HALF ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING, YOU MARK. Get on with it. Then the match starts and holy shit, does it suck. It reminds me of the Russo era “hardcore” matches on WCW. With added sexual innuendo. Mickie noshes Morton off at one point. As you do. Watching the match collapse in real time with the referee being utterly useless is great stuff. Claude, predictably, gets involved in the finish by refusing to count for Mickie. They fuck up an Irish whip and Morton wins with a bunch of plunder shots. At least slightly better than the opener. Still a real fucking mess and no one cared about Morton at all. DUD 

 

The Outbreak vs. Brothers of Funstruction 

Two zombies who are addicted to drugs. That’s an angle. Subtle, Vince, subtle. The zombies lean into the gimmick but it’s tough to work it. We get about a minute in and Violent J is out for another promo. MAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRKKKK. He adds in another team; the Backseat Boyz. They hit the T-Gimmick on a zombie but celebrate instead of pinning and the crowd is playing with a balloon. Every time it goes past the camera it fucks up the depth of focus.  

 

There’s some ok tag teaming stuff in this, but no one gives a fuck. It’s 2am. I like how the Backseats sell for the Hulk fist and a rubber chicken. You can’t tickle a zombie (Progress Ch214). Outbreak win.  

The ring announcer announces the clowns as the winners. I’m howling. *½. The zombies do cocaine and Barnabus is upset about it. They won. What is the problem? Can’t a team celebrate anymore? Utter woke nonsense.  

 

Backstage: Big Vito tries to pay off PCO so they can beat up Vampiro in his last match. Vito, the massive dork, has reflective sunglasses on so you can see PCO walk past behind the cameraman. Haha. Idiot.  

 

JCW American Championship 

Facade (c) vs. Mechawolf vs. Ninja Mack vs. Disco Ray vs. Mickey Avalon  

Disco Ray has a “The Ring Rat” in his corner. Fuck off Russo, you’re not funny. There’s no Charlie Haas here, who was announced. First move in this match; Canadian Destroyer. Disco Ray’s gimmick is that he never stops dancing. He’s actually better at the gimmick than Disco Inferno. Avalon ruins almost every single spot in this. It’s amazing how bad he is.  

 

Ninja Mack and Facade do some genuinely decent stuff when Avalon isn’t in the way. Facade and Disco Ray fuck up horribly with Facade forgetting he’s cutting off Ray, leaving the poor bastard running the ropes. In a Russoeque moment the Ring Rat turns on Ray and helps Facade to retain. Facade fucks up a tribute to Sabu at the end, which in its way is a tribute to Sabu. This was dogshit. DUD. 

 

Post match: Ring Rat leaves with STEVEN FLOOOOOOWWWWW. THOUGHTS ARRIVE LIKE BUTTERFLIES!  

 

Backstage: we get ANOTHER Big Vito and Violent J segment. MAAAAAARRRRRRKKKKK. Vince Russo comes in, back to hard-cam, and Vito claims he’s responsible for Russo’s career. The levels of disillusionment in this segment are insane.  

 

Promo Time: Green Phantom 

GET ON WITH IT. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT. He says nothing and goes to the back. “The Green Phantom everybody”.  

 

JCW Women’s Championship 

Big Al (c) & Dani Mo vs. J-Rod & X  

Referee here is Katie Forbes. Eddie explains who she is. “She’s Rob Van Dam’s wife. Big tits”. Haha. New Japan levels of camera work here. Excellent. X is…Nyla Rose. Irritatingly the storyline is coherent and the work is capable. This is not my Juggalo Championshit Wrestling. Eddie makes a point about the title, suggesting that it makes no sense that Big Al isn’t breaking up her partners’ pinfall attempts. J-Rod beats Dani Mo and Big Al loses her title because she was stood on the apron like a jabronie. *¾ 

 

Karl Anderson, Doc Gallows & KENTA vs. Rob Van Dam, 2 Tuff Tony & Willie Mack 

Tony does the Sandman entrance but pouring lemon Bacardi into fans mouths.  

RVD has Bill Alphonso in his corner. He needs someone to throw him a chair, brother. He takes so long to get to the ring it’s nearly 3am. 2 Tuff Tony is so bad. So, so bad. Just so bad. KENTA gets bloodied by an errant shot to the face. You dumb fucks. The rest brawl around to buy him some time. God, this is horrible. Van Daminator! Tony sets fire to his hand to punch Doc, and the frog splash finishes. DUD 

 

It’s after 3am and we get another backstage segment with Vince Russo where he talks to Caleb Konley. Then we bring out Justin Roberts and his raging erection. JCW put that half naked girl in the ring with him. That’s risky. He’s then interrupted by Jeeves. NO ONE FUCKING CARES. IT’S AFTER 3AM. FUCK OFF. FUCK OFF. FUCK THE FUCK OFF. He brings out EC3. That’s three “special introductions” of guys before the match even starts and it’s already 3:10AM.  

 

JCW Championship 

CoKane (c) vs. Caleb Konley vs. Nic Nemeth vs. Matt Riddle 

Nemeth is representing the Juggalos. Riddle has a straw and shows it to camera during CoKane’s introduction. Get it? Riddle looks fucked. He’s even worse here than against Ben Bishop. CoKane just works like an indie guy, but he’s too scrawny to measure up to everyone else. It’s not a good use of the gimmick. Ziggler handily wrestles circles around him. Konley kicks Nic in the balls and puts him out. Oh, this is elimination. Wow, that’s the last guy I’d put out first. He was holding it together. 

 

Konley does the exact same thing to Riddle. Crowd chant “bullshit”. CoKane fucks some stuff up and EC3 gets bumped by Konley. STEVEN FLOOOOOOWWWW runs in to stop drug abuse. THOUGHTS ARRIVE LIKE BUTTERFLIES. Then Konley does the exact same finish, but EC3 decides to not count to three. IT’S A SWERVE! WHO SAW IT COMING? EVERYONE! CoKane goes to his EMERGENCY BACKUP COCAINE and wins with a chokeslam. * 

 

Post Match: Russo gets in there to argue with EC3, and we get some kind of podcast related beef. We then get another video package with Violent J and Vampiro. It obviously makes no sense.  

 

PCO vs. Big Vito vs. Vampiro 

This is Vampiro’s retirement match. Combined age of the participants is 177. Shaggy 2 Dope shows up, so we have the full Dark Carnival out here. Vito gets zero reaction here, which is quite funny.  

Vampiro does his retirement speech BEFORE the match. We get a crowd brawl and Vampiro pops a fan. Might as well. Go out in style. The in ring here is dogshit. Violent J gets involved. Shane Mercer runs in. It’s 4am.  

Sloppy Nail in the Coffin finishes Vito and Vampiro is retired. Good lord, this was dogshit. Awful match. -* 

 

 

The 411: 

Fucking awful. If you bought a ticket to this show, fuck you. Vince Russo, retire bitch.  

 

 

Show Ranking:  

NJPW Death Vegas 7.5 

Wrestlecon Supershow 6.3  

Dragon Gate USA: Gate of Sin City 5.8  

Progress 5.6  

Ladies Night Out 16 4.5  

Hybrid x PWU Midnight Xpress 4.1  

MDK Fight Club 4.0  

CCW High Rollers 3.4  

Podermania~! 3.1 

Juggalos 2.2  

 

Best Matches:  

Tremont & Gage vs. Takeda & Yamashita vs. Desperado & Kasai (NJPW Death Vegas) ****¼  

Zack Sabre Jr vs. Fuminori Abe (NJPW Death Vegas) ***¾  

Mark Davis vs. Masato Tanaka (Wrestlecon Supershow) ***¾  

Man Like Dereiss vs. Michael Oku (Progress) ***½  

Manders vs. Thomas Shire (Hybrid/PWU) ***¼  

Bandido vs. Galeno del Mal (Wrestlecon Supershow) *** 

Ben K & Hyo vs. Aero Panther & Fight Panther Jr vs. Jordan Oliver & Alec Price (DGUSA) *** 

 

Number of coffees drunk; 6 

Number of Geoguessr seeds played as a welcoming distraction: 8 

Number of motivational/tactical Irn Bru’s drunk: 3