WCW Clash of the Champions 14: Dixie Dynamite review 

 

January 30, 1991 

 

We’re in Gainsville, Georgia at the Georgia Mountains Center for the return of Dusty Rhodes to WCW. He left the WWF and his polka dots to take over as WCW’s head booker after the horrendous year of Ole Anderson booking resulted in a disastrous and hugely unpopular Starrcade to end the year on. Dusty’s first port of call is putting himself on comms. So, hosts for this are Jim Ross and Dusty Rhodes. Dusty jobbed to Ted DiBiase just 11 days before this at the 1991 Rumble. 

 

I’ve never seen this show, for reasons we’ll go into*, so this is ALL NEW TO ME, DAMN IT! However, I’ve looked at the card….and it does not look good dudes. The video is split into two parts on VK, for some reason, so maybe I’ll get halfway through and just tap out like a bitch**.  

 

*The reason is that it sucks.  

 

**I didn’t but holy shit, this show was hard work.  

 

 

WCW World Tag Team Championship 

Doom (c) vs. Sting & Lex Luger 

Having got the belt off Sting, hurriedly in January, they’ve thrown him in with Flexy Lexy. Will Luger turn on him? I mean, probably. Maybe if they hadn’t JUST turned him babyface. Dusty claims Teddy Long is “out buying condoms”. It turns out he said “condos”. This is nicely heated as the two biggest faces in the company are involved. You would hope the crowd were fired up. If they weren’t, WCW would be in biiiiiig trouble.  

 

Luger and Simmons have NO CHEMISTRY though. They blow such complicated spots as “the shoulderblock”. Lex looks out of it. In comes Butch Reed to chinlock him into submission. At least he can’t fuck that up. The era of Lex Luger being good is definitely over btw. Dan Spivey gets involved just after Sting gets the hot tag to set up that Luger-Spivey match no one wants. The match completely falls apart after that with a ref bump and Sting gets backdropped outside for the DQ. WOOF, this SUUUUUUCKED. This is a company in TROUBLE gang. This felt like a house show match, put on early so Sting and Luger and go back to the hotel and get some sleep. Or drive to the next town in a double header to main event.  

 

WCW World TV Championship 

Z-Man (c) vs. Beautiful Bobby  

Eaton’s entrance music is a faked chant of “BOBBY”. Goldberg coming seven years early. Tom Zenk is introduced as “the sexiest wrestler in WCW”, which is a thing they actually did. I mean, if you find boredom sexual, he’s your guy. The title is 100% not changing hands here as Zenk has already lost the belt to Arn Anderson at a TV taping. Why not just do the switch here? WCW things! Dusty stops off to praise “Brian PEEEELman” if you weeeeeel. JR points out Zenk had been watching Pillman, as Dusty inferred, as they were a tag team. Dusty just segues into some other nonsense. Rhodes’ commentary is a guilty pleasure but fuck me, bookerman, know the product.  

 

I love Bobby Eaton, but WCW had no idea what to do with him. He might have been better off jumping to the WWF around here as they moved into a workrate era as the roided up guys weren’t allowed on TV. The match has the TV title ‘all action’ business down pat with lots of near falls. Zenk wins with a backslide, but Eaton kicked out. Call it about **½  

 

Video Control gives us Alexandra York who announces she’s selected a new member for the York Foundation. No mention of Mike Rotunda here but he’s gone to the WWF to become IRS.  

 

Tommy Rich & Allen Iron Eagle vs. Fabulous Freebirds 

How are the Freebirds still on every show, even though they’re not holding any belts? Also, Allen Iron Eagle?? Fuck off mate. It’s Joe Gomez with some minimalistic native American gimmick. He’s got tassels on his boots. Rich and the Freebirds run through some house show shit before Gomez tags in. He’s brutally green. He bumps a duck down and PS Hayes looks pissed off. Gomez doesn’t sell for Hayes’ big punch, and Hayes is FUMING and brutally assaults him with shoot chops. FUCKING SELL THAT, JOE.  

 

I didn’t have Michael PS Hayes on my list of guys who would brutally assault jobbers but here we are. “He’s only 20 years old, he’s a baby in this sport” says JR, clearly protective. Hayes just stops selling for Gomez and Rich has to come in and make a save. They do something wrong, and a double DDT puts poor bastard Joe Gomez away. He wouldn’t get another shot at WCW for five years. If I didn’t make it clear, Gomez had a shocker here. Totally out of his depth.  

 

Video Control gives us Dusty interviewing Paul E, which goes as badly as you’d expect. Dusty implies Paul E is gay and Paul quotes Martin Luther King to hype his arm wrestling match with Missy Hyatt. Oh, no.  

 

Sid vs. Joey Maggs 

SQUAAAAAASSSSSHHHHH!!!!  

Maggs lasts about a minute and still looks awful. Powerbomb finishes. This is part of Sid’s series of matches where he’d send people out on stretchers. Which would result in a stretcher match with El Gigante, which he LOST and promptly jumped to the WWF. A move that was ill fated with the impending steroid issues and his entire run was basically the Rumble and Hogan at Wrestlemania 8.  

 

Ricky Morton vs. Terry Taylor 

This should be a scientific babyface match but it’s actually the storyline for the York Foundation. They blow the reveal by announcing Taylor as “the computerised man of the ‘90s”, which makes no sense unless he’s about to join the York Foundation. I mean, they’re BOTH going to join the York Foundation. How do you replace Mike Rotunda? How do you replace his level of boring? Terry MFIN Taylor. The actual heel turn is announced PICTURE IN PICTURE by Alexandra York. CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT???  

 

It isn’t like Terry was even working heel before she turns up. At least drop a few hints in. Dusty has to say he’s wrestling more aggressively. He isn’t. York eventually turns up and they both claim she’s not with them before Taylor blindsides Morton to ZERO REACTION. Gee, who could have seen the computerised man of the ‘90s being part of the computer inspired York Foundation? The match itself is fine, but the heel turn should surely be the end of the match and Morton misses a dropkick to lose. The crowd even cheer Taylor’s victory, presumably people who missed York’s arrival as them locking up kinda screamed “piss break” to me too. **¼ 

 

Video Control takes us to Bill Apter who presents Sting with the PWI Wrestler of the Year award. Did no one at PWI watch wrestling in 1990? He had a horrible year. Robocop had a better year! We go back to Dusty who goes off on a patriotic rant about the Gulf War. Presumably to try and out-do a similar rant by Roddy Piper at the Royal Rumble. Both of which are just right wing rhetoric with no basis in fact. Dusty is particularly upset that people would say bad things about the president. I will be listening out for his thoughts on Bill Clinton with GREAT INTEREST LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.  

 

Ranger Ross vs. El Cubano 

They’ve brought Ranger Ross back due to the Gulf War. Everyone needs a flag waving patriot during war time. This run is short-lived because the war ended so quickly. El Cubano is Cuban Assassin or El Diablo or whatever goofy masked gimmick he’s gone by. Ross looks as bad as he did last year time he was here, and they just about manage a sunset flip to finish. USA! USA! USA! DUD! 

 

Renegade Warriors vs. Arn Anderson & Barry Windham 

Can Arn Anderson carry the Renegade Warriors to something passable? BAH GAWD he actually can. The Renegades are really basic, but Arn gets that. He just lets them bump him around.  

People often talk about Ric Flair having good matches with broomsticks but that’s exactly what Arn does here. And Barry too, to a lesser extent. Taking the most basic guys and doing the hard yards for them. It’s interesting to see the DDT used as ‘just another move’ here. It’s only 1991 and already killshots are getting downgraded. The DDT always made sense to me as a finish because the guy’s head smacks into the mat. 

 

The only complicated thing Chris Youngblood has to do is get his knees up as Arn comes off the top and he fucks that up. Superplex gets rid of Mark Youngblood. This was a well-structured, well executed performance from an experienced duo against a rookie mess. ***. Easily the best thing on the show. It flowed beautifully. Arn Anderson is so great at tag team wrestling. He may be the tag team GOAT because it didn’t matter who he was paired up with.  

 

It’s bizarre to me that this Horsemen group, which was doing well, got split up. Arn is about to start tagging with Larry Zbyszko as the Enforcers, seeing as AWA was finally dead for good. Windham went into singles.  

 

Buddy Lee Parker vs. Flyin’ Brian 

Pillman was originally billed as Flair’s opponent tonight, but it was switched because Dusty probably didn’t know who he was. JR lays it on thick, pointing out how good Pillman is. In case Dusty hadn’t noticed. Dusty responds by talking about Scott Steiner and calling Pillman small. Pillman, in the ring, responds with a series of slick high-flying moves. High cross wins it for Pillman. This was basically a squash but also a personal showcase for the pencil at ringside from Flyin’ Brian. I get Dusty’s decision though. I wouldn’t book a guy called “Flyin’ Brian” to do shit.  

 

Paul E. Dangerously vs. Missy Hyatt 

This is an arm-wrestling contest. They haven’t really got an idea what to do with either of these, so they co-host a show and have beef from it.  

Paul E comes in talking trash, but Missy takes her jacket off to reveal the mystery weapons and Paul is SO TRANSFIXED AT THE SIGHT OF BOOBIES that he’s powerless to resist. Paul would be so angered by his defeat that he would (eventually) put together the Dangerous Alliance, one of the best stables in WCW history. In the meantime, as Paul wasn’t fairly beaten here, the feud must continue!  

 

World Heavyweight Championship 

Ric Flair (c) vs. Scott Steiner 

It’s been patently obvious, for quite some time, that Scott Steiner fucking rules and WCW decided to pull the trigger on him here. What happens in this match would determine whether Steiner would be heading to the tippy top of the promotion or going back into the tag ranks ad nauseum. Flair figures he needs to slow Scott down, which results in a lot of half-hearted stuff. When Scott does up the pace, Flair looks disinterested in taking his innovative spots. He just wants to take his own bumps, Scott. Which rules out what makes Steiner so special. The mixture of high impact, high intensity offence.  

 

Flair is open to taking Scott’s mat work, but he can’t really do it justice. Flair resorts to a lot of the usual, although Scott is aided by the Dog Faced Gremlin yelling at referee Nick Patrick from ringside. Scott tries to crossbody Flair to the floor and Ric takes the bump, but Scott doesn’t and feels the urge to throw himself over the top afterwards. You would normally disparage Scott and tell him to just stay in the ring, but the floor is where Flair starts his leg assault. Which leads to a few minutes into the Figure Four, which further hampers Scott’s dynamism.  

 

What they should have done was have Scott throw Flair around for the best part of ten minutes before going to the leg stuff. There was no shine for Scotty here. They try for some drama near the end, but Scott hits a Tiger Driver and somehow that’s not a near fall, despite already being in a pinning position, and Flair ends up on the floor. What’s the logic there? Scott has a minute left to win the title and just stands in the ring like a dumbass. 30 seconds remain and Scott does the ten count punches. Haha, what a fucking stupid match. The clock is counting down and Scott still does nothing so the bell rings and the match is over. Scotty is all “I WON, I WON”. Oh no. This is a disaster. 

 

“One of the greatest nights in wrestling” says Dusty as JR tries to get him to shut up because the show is over. The credits roll with Ross quickly trying to plug Wrestlewar, which he can’t because Big Dust has wasted the last ten seconds of the show. For the guy who’s running things, Dusty didn’t seem to know what he was doing, which must be a concern for everyone backstage.  

 

The 411: 

Oh boy, this sucks. I struggled to get through this show. The only thing worth watching is Arn & Barry vs. Renegade Warriors just for the curio of a carry job on two jabronies. The main event is a complete disaster. How do you flub this so bad? Without booking there to ruin anything either. It’s all on the wrestlers. Morale seems to be bad, which would explain why everyone is half-assing it. It’s going to be a long year.