WWE Wrestlemania 39 N2
April 2, 2023
We’re in LA at the SoFi Stadium. I don’t know if this review will ever see the light of day. I had an attack on the website from China. I couldn’t post anything. Had no visibility over anything. An extremely frustrating thing to happen on Mania weekend. I’ve got 5 reviews lined up on top of this.
We do the Miz & Snoop Dogg bit again.
Brock Lesnar vs. Omos
Brock loves going on first. He’ll have the F-5 done by 20 past the hour and be at the airport on his way home long before the main event starts. Omos is WWE’s latest monster. He’s somewhere between El Gigante and Giant Gonzalez. Omos throws him around like Lesnar did to….everyone during his career. F-5. 18 MINUTES PAST THE HOUR BABY!
Natalya & Shotzi vs. Chelsea Green & Sonya Deville vs. Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez vs. Ronda Rousey & Shayna Baszler
This, like last night’s ‘showcase’, is an excuse to get people on the card. Where that match succeeded was in doing a bunch of crazy shit. There’s no one in here who can do that. Nobody is even that over in it. They try to establish Rodriguez as the big star. Nobody cares. Liv Morgan comes across quite well. She takes good bumps and leans into Shotzi’s forearms for a laugh. She wants it to look good. Ronda tags in, immediately taps out Shotzi and that’s that done. This was bad. Shayna is selling a leg injury afterwards. My hope is they get a tag title shot, lose because Shayna is injured. Rousey turns on her. Shayna then comes back later to beat Rousey and send her packing for a while. Could be a good angle. Could result in some intense mat based matches.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Gunther (c) vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus
Rumour has it Drew might be on his way out so I’m hoping he gets eliminated early and we get WALTER and Sheamus chopping each other for 15 minutes. I’ve watched all of these gentlemen progress from tiny European venues to bigger European venues to now being on the Showcase of the Immortals. WALTER always said he’d never go but hey, the lure was there. He’ll be set for life after five years. All for chopping the shit out of his mates. Even though I prefer his body type to be chunky, those chops are still ace. Everyone joins in. THEY BEAT THE EVERLOVING PISS OUT OF EACH OTHER. That’s the whole match. I love it. Big hurting bombs. The only big flaw is Gunter looking for Drew and positioning ahead of Drew breaking up a pin. It’s the only time they do anything needlessly complicated. They have a staggering number of false finishes. Gunther denies Sheamus, powerbombs him on Drew’s head and then jacks Drew up for another powerbomb for the win. Deliriously happy with how that played out. ****¾
WWE RAW Women’s Championship
Bianca Belair (c) vs. Asuka
Bianca won this last year at WrestleMania, having won the other belt the year before. It’s tough to be in this spot, following that insanely hard hitting match. They try hard, maybe too hard. The big powerbomb on the floor feels a bit excessive for an early spot. The trouble is, drawing the fans in. I’m convinced WWE fucked the line up here. Some of the sequences are better than the others. Where Asuka can lead, on the mat. Bianca’s power spots look a little shakier. To be fair though, they go full out. The bumps are intense and harsh. The Mist/braid double miss was clever stuff, showing parity. Asuka can’t force a tap out and Bianca powers her up for the KOD. Three wins in title matches in three successive WrestleMania’s. Belair is getting the Hogan/Austin/Cena level of protection. It’s pretty cool she made it to that level. ****
The Miz & Snoop are out again. Miz runs his mouth so Snoop puts him in an impromptu match with…Shane McMahon. Oh, come on. Shane blows out his quad. Snoop punches Miz out, gives him the People’s Elbow and gets a ref to declare him the winner. Snoop pulling an improvised finish out of his ass when the Miz was standing there freaking out because his planned match had gone to shit. The panic rising in his eyes only for Snoop to calmly punch him square in the jaw. ELITE work.
Hell in a Cell
Finn Balor vs. Edge
Edge was leading a little gaggle of evil doers but they got sick of his bullshit and kicked him out. So, now he’s in HIAC against the guy who done it. I’d rather not have HIAC on this show. It’s a main event of an event in its own right. Balor promised to bring the Demon, so Edge has brought Brood Edge, whatever that means. They’re the same guy. Has he painted his fingernails black? NO! Loser.
This is the first (big) match they’ve booked this weekend where I’m not into either guy or their shtick. Not content with a Hell in a Cell, Edge pulls out a load of other plunder. Edge throws a ladder at Balor and manages to bust him open hardway. Compared to previous cell matches it’s intense and fast paced but it’s not good. Spear doesn’t finish but the Conchairto does. The whole feud has seen a lot of spooky nonsense and they needed a bunch of this violent crap to get over on the night. I didn’t buy it.
WWE Title / WWE Universal Championship
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Cody Rhodes
Cody is over as shit. He’s a prime example of why leaving WWE is good. He would never, ever, have gotten into this spot without AEW. Competition is good for business. There were 37 minutes between matches here. Which is, completely unacceptable. It’s 4am when the main starts. Right, Cody Rhodes. I like him, as a person. He seems like he has a good mind for the business, nice guy, family man, does the right thing. Would make a good politician or a boss. I don’t like him as a worker.
Roman has proven he belongs at the top of the table. Everything people criticised him for he’s gotten better at. There does come a point where he has to lose the title and it’s probably now. He’s been the Big Dog for a while though. Paul Heyman gives him this incredible pep talk. I love that it’s not on the microphone but he knows he can be heard. They learn from NXT and have Solo interfere before getting thrown out. His mistake is interfering too loudly. From there they come up with the big moments and false finishes. Then it gets stupid. Ref bump. Cody ‘selling’ the Superman punch by running backwards into the ropes.
Usos run in. This has happened to Breakker, Cena and now Cody. Obviously, Owens and Zayn make the save. Solo sneaks back in, spikes Cody in the neck and Roman hits a Spear for the win. Hahaha. Storytelling. ***½.
Very overlong, overbooked. People seemed to like it?
Oh hey, I never wrote this at the time because the site was down. Obviously, N2 is a far cry from the highs of N1 where everything seemed to land. N2 does have that outstanding triple threat match though and while I don’t personally like the main event, I can see people digging it. The “let it play out” gang were in full force for the main but the way it played out on RAW just furthered the belief that Vince McMahon had taken over the booking and was out to bury the previous 6 months of booking for some reason. How dare people get over! How dare we have an interesting storyline that people are invested in! I personally don’t about Cody Rhodes so it didn’t bother me but the last couple of matches were a far cry from N1 finish.