WWE Wrestlemania XL N1 (4.6.24) review 

 

April 6, 2024 

 

WRESTLEMANIA WEEK REVIEW #17 

 

Source: Award Winning WWE Network ($9.99 per month) 

 

We’re in Philly for N1 of Wrestlemania XL. I tried to do this earlier, but the Network had fucked up the VOD and the sound and picture were out of sync (by a long, long distance) and the VOD started in the middle of Ripley-Lynch. This has been fixed and we’re go for night one. 4h17m. A long show considering they turned it into a two-night show to reduce the run time. Tomorrow will be worse.  

 

What really irks me about WWE is all the filler. Like, get on with it. It takes 6:00 to get to the singing of the anthem. They’ve removed the little skip forward button too. Bullshit. 

They bring out Triple H, a man too busy to read lawsuits against his own company. Michael Cole tells us this current era should be called the Triple H Era. Uh. I can only assume that’s because no one can spell “renaissance”. Cole is joined on comms by Corey Graves and Pat McAfee.  

 

WWE Women’s Championship 

Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Becky Lynch 

They do a lot here before we even start. Becky reading out her biography, like this is a footnote in her career. Rhea getting played to the ring by a band and looking angry and intense. It’s a huge contrast. As much as Becky Lynch has had a good career, Rhea Ripley is at the top of her game.  

 

Corey makes a cohesive point that Becky broke through the glass ceiling for the women’s division to give opportunities to the likes of Ripley but now Rhea has taken her game to another level. Not just from an in-ring perspective but her character, her involvement with other wrestlers and her look.  

 

The match is decent. Becky has always been a little bit awkward, but she knows her spots and her strengths. Rhea does the odd questionable spot but follows it with something better, almost as an apology. The weird fireman’s slam only serves as a set up for a knee strike.  

 

As with the NXT Women’s title, they try and throw in some arm work to set up the Disarmer. It’s Mania so naturally we get the whole ‘finisher kick out’ business. It’s a trope at this point. Many of the better spots are not finishes. Like the Electic chair on the floor. Rhea hits Riptide into the buckles and then another one for good measure to retain. This was good but never really caught fire. Becky’s illness this week can’t have helped but she tried. ***½ 

 

“The action is non-stop” says Michael Cole, before throwing to some adverts. 

 

Ladder Match  

WWE RAW Tag Team Title / WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship 

The Judgment Day (Damian Priest & Finn Balor) (c) vs. Awesome Truth (R-Truth & The Miz) vs. #DIY (Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa) vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) vs. A-Town Down Under (Austin Theory & Grayson Waller) vs. New Catch Republic (Pete Dunne & Tyler Bate) 

Oh no. This really isn’t my kind of match at all. Just a bunch of spots and silly setting up of spots. I like quite a high percentage of the workers, in terms of hitting a bunch of spots. The only thing that interests me is that both sets of tag belts are on the line, so you could end up with two different winners. The only stupid spots that work for me are ones with Truth, who doesn’t understand the rules and gets a hot tag. It’s a good bit. 

 

DIY cosplay as DX to suck up to the new chief and they start doing DX spots. Waller and Theory pull down the Smackdown belts. Various high spots follow with dudes going through tables and ladders and shit. They have guys lying around at ringside for the entire match. Truth ends up pulling down the RAW belts after Damien Priest does some god-awful slow climbing nonsense. This didn’t deliver at all but then, since the original TLC’s none of these matches have worked for me. All just big old clusterfucks. 

 

Dominick Mysterio & Santos Escobar vs. Rey Mysterio & Andrade 

This was originally Dragon Lee, but they’ve switched Andrade in. Presumably he had a Wrestlemania match in his contract. Rey can’t hide how happy he is to be working against his son at Wrestlemania, again. They do a cooler spot in the first minute (Andrade hitting a dive with Rey on his shoulders) than the entire of the last match. Then a whole bunch of nothing happens. I remain astonished that Rey still wrestles. The only thing that makes it make sense is he started working as a literal child and debuted in ECW aged 21. 

 

Andrade spends some of the match reminding me why he was good to begin with. He throws out a lot of clever spots. The seconds all do wacky dives. We get various run ins and a dreadful double 619. Rey pins Santos. Jason Kelce is involved in the finish, in a lucha mask. I think it’s safe to say this wasn’t great.  

 

Jey Uso vs. Jimmy Uso 

I know this Bloodline story has been a key part of WWE’s recent revival in storyline fortunes but the matches it’s led to have been bad. This, I’m sad to report, is more of the same. So many superkicks. Neither guy is particularly interesting on their own and while the Usos, as a team, had flaws they were at least fun. The superkick issue is enormous. I always think of a head kick as a finisher. Or at least a near fall. Not something to be constantly spammed. It’s stupid.  

 

If that wasn’t bad enough, we get the other awful thing about the Bloodline after spamming bad moves and that’s DRAMA. How is Jey stupid enough to fall for an apology and begging off in the middle of the match? Anyway, this was DOGSHIT. One of the worst matches of the year. DUD 

 

Bianca Belair, Jade Cargill & Naomi vs. Damage CTRL (Asuka, Dakota Kai & Kairi Sane) 

This feels like a women’s division ‘leftovers’ match. Not in a title match? You’re in here to help Jade get over. It’s a shame because I like everyone in this but it’s clearly filler. The only person I feel bad for is Dakota because she’s the only one who might not get that big singles match at Mania.  

The match is designed around making Jade a star. Everyone flies off her and takes a bump of big bumps for her. Dakota eats the pin and Jade has a W on her Wrestlemania debut. They all seem happy with how it went down, and they protected Jade’s shortcomings. How long before Jade is ready to fight someone big in singles? Based on this, not very soon but the tools are there. 

 

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship 

Gunther (c) vs. Sami Zayn  

Gunther’s run with this belt has been unreal for him but maybe it’s time for him to move on. Plus he’s done 666 days. They’ve set a record that probably won’t be beaten. Gunther can genuinely hold the actual title.  

Sami has a little moment with Kevin Owens and something the WWE can never grasp is how simple ‘best friends’ stories are. They always must have a turn in WWE. It doesn’t need to be this way. The match is straightforward. Gunther is a monster and beats the shit out of Sami all match. It is delightfully stiff. The match would have a different dynamic if Gunther was still carrying a lot of weight. He hits hard but he hit different when he was big boy.  

 

The monster vs underdog format is a good one. I’ve seen a lot of these type of matches over the years and they tend to land well. Sami takes a shellacking here. Many chops. Many powerbombs. Gunther, in between kicking Sami’s ass, stops off to abuse Sami’s wife. Awesome heel work. He stops short of dragging Sami’s carcass out in front of her and really you want him to get colour for MOTY territory and maximum sympathy.  

 

The finish though. Hooo boy. TURNBUCKLE BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I never thought we’d see it in the WWE. It is truly a new age. Triple H is such a mark for high spots. Helluva Kick follows and Sami wins the big one, ending the longest IC title reign of all time. It needed the brainbuster on the buckles to be really special, but they could have extended the beating and made it more brutal to truly elevate this. Call it **** though. An excellent match with an elite finish.  

 

 

Erm. Oh no.

 

Dwayne Johnson & Roman Reigns vs. Cody Rhodes & Seth Rollins 

Dwayne brings a belt with him for some reason. Rock is 51 years old. Hulk Hogan was 48 years old when they had their match back in 2002. The last match against John Cena was 11 years ago. I swear Covid ruined my perception of time. This is Roman’s eighth main event at Wrestlemania.  

Roman promises to “get this over, real quick”. Oh my god, how I wish that was true. They’ve fucked up here because people love the Rock. Having him here is a bonus, because of his star power, but you worry about him going against Cody or Seth in a popularity contest.  

“You count, you’re fired”. This wrinkle in the rules allows them to brawl around all over the place, which is better than having to watch them put together an actual wrestling match. It does raise the question of whether the Rock is job-proof. If he can just fire any ref that counts him down, why is he even competing. There’s a logic hole in there.  

 

Anyhow, as this creeps along I’m so glad I didn’t watch it live. There’s no way I would have been able to stay awake. It’s so boring. It’s almost like they called it in the ring because why would plan a match this tedious? The heat segment on Seth is unbelievably dull.  

The weird thing about this is the build feels like it’s Rock vs. Cody tomorrow. That’s where all the heat is. These other jamokes are almost incidental. The sheer length of this match is insanity. It does the Rock no favours at all. He’s struggling out there. The selling is bad. He also manages to fall over hitting a low blow. They have plenty of chances to just end this, but they want to shoot for epic. This is not the match to shoot for epic in.  

 

It just keeps going. There’s a spear miscue. Double pedigrees. Rock bottom through the announce table. Spear through the rail. It wouldn’t be so bad if it hadn’t taken them 40 minutes to get here. People’s Elbow puts Cody away. He’s a rubber chicken away from history repeating itself. Which would be very funny. This had moments but it was way too long. Way too long. They didn’t fill huge chunks of the match with anything at all.  

 

The 411: 

A depressingly long, pointless shit show. To try and be positive, I thought Gunther vs. Sami and Rhea vs. Becky were good but why on earth was this show 4h17m? It’s just unneccesary. When they split the show over two nights it was to keep it down in terms of time management and now we’re creeping up to two fucking five-hour shows. Can you imagine a ten-hour Wrestlemania? I can and it fucking sucks. Anyway, congrats to Sami Zayn. Good dude, deserves the big win.