WWF Summerslam 1988 – Where the Mega Powers Meet the Mega Bucks (8.29.88) review 

 

August 29, 1988 

 

We’re in New York City at Madison Square Garden. This is the inaugural Summerslam PPV, so it’s only appropriate it airs from MSG, which also aired the first WrestleMania back in 1985. Summerslam doesn’t have a gimmick like the other two PPV’s already added to the WWF’s schedule; Royal Rumble and Survivor Series. It’s just the big card of the summer, like Mania is the big card of the spring. A secondary major PPV feels like a no brainer after some of the matches that didn’t make PPV over the past three years (Hogan vs. Orndorff springs to mind). However, this card isn’t what you would want from a major show. Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Billy Graham. Jesse Ventura is refereeing tonight’s main event, so isn’t available to commentate. Another issue with the show.  

 

An interesting little aside before we begin. Vince McMahon’s original planned main event for this show was Randy Savage defending the WWF title against…Ric Flair. He made overtones to Flair to get him from Crockett, but Flair felt obliged to see out his run as NWA champion. Was this why Luger never beat Flair at the end of 1988? Was Ted Turner worried that losing the belt might send Flair packing to New York? Presumably, and we’re in big assumption territory here, McMahon had planned Flair vs. Hogan for WrestleMania V.  

Having been to New York, stayed right by MSG and walked past it 5-6 times I’m shocked I never managed to get a selfie or something in front of it. Oh well.  

 

I’ve not this for a while but due to how tragic WWF is in 1988, I’m having a few beers. Drink along at home, if you can!  

 

BEER #1: St Bernardus Pater 6 (6.7% Belgian Dubbel ***½) 

Let’s start strong and hope the WWF can do the same!  

 

You can hear Howard Finkel counting the fans in to make noise with the PPV starting as I stare at Superstar’s shirt and try to figure out what the fuck it’s supposed to be. What a bizarre beginning.  

 

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. British Bulldogs 

The Rougeau’s have turned heel and are now disingenuous fans of America, waving tiny little American flags and promising to move there soon. Dynamite Kid is basically finished here, which makes me a bit sad. Injuries aside, he’s been one of the star turns on many mid 80s WWF shows. Davey looks in great form here but without Dynamite’s guidance he rapidly tried to work like a powerhouse.  

 

Here Davey looks flexible, quick, clever and smooth. He’s the MVP of the match. They run a wonderful spot where Davey goes for a monkey flip and Jacques stomps on his hammy. The Rougeau’s heat is all on Davey’s leg, so that slots into the match beautifully. They keep busy during the match and the heat doesn’t drag. Both teams bring shenanigans, leading to another heat segment. This time on Dynamite Kid. 

 

I could live without double heat segments. I recently praised the NWA for bringing the ‘hot opener’ into play on PPV cards when they put Sting & Nikita Koloff in with the Brainbusters to open a show. This is the WWF realising that concept works. This is arguably the WWF’s first ever ‘hot opener’ and MSG is cooking. They tick every box in the tag team formula bingo sheet. Eventually we get the hot tag, Rocket Launcher for Jacques but the time runs out at 20:00. *** 

 

A solid hot opener. They ran formula a little too closely for my liking. I’ve seen this kind of match before. Many times. Considering how bad a lot of WWF matches were in 1988, I guess I’ll take it. The Bulldogs end up chasing the Rougeau’s to the back. “Finish it in the showers if you have to” says Billy Graham. Uh, excuse me? What kind of a four-man does he want to see?  

 

Video Control gives us clips of Ron Bass beating the piss out of Brutus Beefcake from the TV earlier in the week. Beefcake was due to challenge for the IC title but this injury takes him out of it.  

I love this shot because the censored thing doesn’t cover up Beefcake’s blood, but it does look like Ron Bass got his dick out on television. Given the reduction in bleeding on WWF TV this might be the last sanctioned bladejob until the bloodletting of the Attitude Era kicked in. I’ll keep one eye on the bloodshed! Meanwhile, another contender has been lined up for the IC title shot tonight. Oh, who could it be?  

 

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera 

Patera is nearly done here. He’d leave for the AWA later in the year. The match is ugly. They have no chemistry at all. They try and force the pace and that just makes it worse. Say what, let’s just give up and do a bearhug lads. Ghettoblaster finishes and it gets popped because people are just glad its over. This was rough.  

 

BEER #2: Bolleke de Koninck (APA) (5.2% Belgian Pale Ale ***) 

Congratulations Ken Patera, you drove me to drink.  

 

Video Control gives us the MegaPowers for an interview. 

Savage announces Miss Elizabeth is the secret weapon and Hogan tells us she’ll bring the “kiss of death”. Do you announce a secret weapon? I guess he was talking about her legs. No idea what Hogan was on about. 

 

Rick Rude vs. Junkyard Dog 

Cue shots of the ladies in the audience with their cameras out. Haha. JYD is at the end of his WWF career here. This is his final PPV appearance. He clearly doesn’t give a shit and his bumping might be even worse than Patera. Rude, aware this isn’t going great, slaps JYD in a chinlock.  

Rude pulls his tights down, which had some lovely Junkyard Dog art on, to reveal a second pair of tights with Cheryl Roberts’ face on. An enraged Jake Roberts runs in for the DQ. Sadly the camera misses the big reveal because Rude pointed his crotch away from the hard-cam. Bloody wrestlers. The match was dreadful. JYD rolls out of the ring for WCW. I would say he’ll be missed, but will he?  

 

Video Control finds Honky Tonk Man who says he’s in a good mood, so he’ll take on anyone. Honky cuts off Okerlund when he’s about to announce his opponent. Honky doesn’t care. Oh, I think you might do.  

 

Bolsheviks vs. Powers of Pain 

The Powers came in from NWA a couple of months before this and are booked as monster babyfaces. They’re managed by “The Baron”, who’s wearing a hood and I think it’s Baron Von Raschke but it’s not. I’m sure that’s the intention. Instead, it’s Tony Rocco, who used to work here as a jobber years ago. I legitimately don’t remember him. It’s fair to say the Powers are not over as faces, in the slightest. If they wanted to get them over, they would be squashing the Bolsheviks in short order.  

 

Zhukov is particularly useless, but Volkoff looks finished here. He’s horribly immobile and does a ‘spin kick’. Barbarian finishes Zhukov with the flying headbutt and, oh hey, there’s the pop! Are they popping the finish or the fact they don’t have to watch Boris Zhukov anymore? You be the judge.  

 

Brother Love Show 

Oh yes, Brother Love. Bruce Pritchard, lifetime stooge, joined the WWF in 1987. He’d previously worked as a ring announcer for Bill Watts and as Paul Boesch’s general gofer. He’s been in the wrestling business since he was 13. On joining the WWF, he first worked as an announcer but came up with this Brother Love character and got on TV as ‘talent’. Brother Love, a dishonest preacher with a penchant for telling people he loved them. This was relatively early in the run.  

“I lurrrrve youuuu”. His guest is Jim Duggan. It’s time for another beer.  

 

BEER #3: Tegernseer Quirinus (7% Doppelbock, ***¾) 

 

I don’t hate Brother Love’s character because he was a heel, and he was a weak blowhard. The only issue was he didn’t wrestle so there’s never a pay off for the Brother Love Show. Anyway, Duggan, or “Doogan” as Love calls him, threatens to stick his 2×4 up Brother Love’s arse so he legs it. 

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship 

Honky Tonk Man (c) vs. Ultimate Warrior 

During the past year, I’ve gained an appreciation for Honky Tonk Man. Sure, he’s full of shit and you can’t believe a word he says but he knew how to draw heat and he did some dastardly things as IC champ. Apparently, it was Honky’s idea to keep this short because he didn’t want to wrestle a long match with Warrior. So, Warrior squashes him.  

The match went 0:31 and Warrior still managed to botch a spot. When WWE released that hatchet job DVD about how much Warrior sucked, they were 100% right. One of the worst wrestlers to ever get a major push. He’s a worse worker than Andre and Andre can barely stand.  

 

Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo 

Oh my god, who thought this was a good idea? Muraco is another guy, like JYD, who’s been a constant for WWF since Vince McMahon took over who’s now finished. This is his final PPV appearance. Muraco has been inconsistent over the years. When he wasn’t motivated he did nothing for me. He’s barely motivated here, knowing full well his WWF career is over. I’m happy for Don. He made his money, didn’t need to embarrass himself in his old age, retired and lived.  

 

Dino Bravo, on the other hand, was not a good wrestler in this run. Case in point is the terrible ref bump they work in here. I don’t know what it was supposed to be but it didn’t work. Right afterwards Bravo hits the sideslam to win. This was painful to watch.  

 

Video Control takes us to Jesse Ventura, who talks about his position as referee tonight. Sean Mooney points out Ted DiBiase has already paid him off. All this talking is making me thirsty! 

 

BEER #4: Victoria Malaga (4.8% lager, **½) 

Probably shouldn’t have followed a Doppelbock with this but hey, it’s still quite refreshing.  

 

WWF Tag Team Championship 

Demolition (c) vs. Hart Foundation  

The Harts lost the belts less than a year ago to Strike Force. Who, in turn, lost to Demolition. Jimmy Hart has been fired by the Harts and is now in the champs corner, as well as Mr Fuji. While the Harts are certainly popular, they’re nowhere near the level that Bret would achieve on his own. Demolition didn’t do anything for me when I was a nipper and now I’m older and wiser, they do even less. The weird S&M gear is particularly unnecessary.  

 

Is the beer making them any better? No.  

 

What most irks me about this match, and I paused it so I could properly go off here, is the psychology. Bret gets picked off and Demolition work his arm. Only, Smash gets lost and works the right arm. Unless he’s in Mexico, he’s fucked up there. So, Bret uses the right arm on a clothesline to get the hot tag and commentary starts talking about the right arm being ok because it wasn’t worked over. STOP LYING TO ME. I have eyes. It literally just happened. Gorilla Monsoon is someone’s forgetful uncle, but Superstar Billy Graham is just bad at commentary.  

 

After I take the match off pause I realise that wasn’t even the hot tag and Bret makes the actual hot tag with his left arm, because the right one got worked over. Let’s face it, Demolition are shit. Speaking of Demolition being shit, they’re so out of position on the finish that Neidhart’s ‘knocking Mr Fuji off the apron’ spot gets re-done FOUR TIMES. Fuji is just hanging on there waiting for Ax to actually get in position for the finish. Anyway, Ax hits Bret with Jimmy’s megaphone for the pin. You’ll be shocked to learn that this doesn’t make it to the three star threshold for the notebook. On watching the replay, it’s arguably Jimmy Hart’s fault for missing his cue and being late to the ring but hey, I like Jimmy Hart so I’m not blaming him.  

 

Video Control takes us to Honky Tonk Man who rants about getting his belt back. Not in this lifetime, brother. 

 

BEER #5: Tinsel Toes (4.4% Winter Ale, ***¼) 

The show might have been better if I’d had five beers before we started. Especially that doppelbock. It’s Christmas, almost, as I write this, so we have ourselves a beer that’s completely out of season with Summerslam. 

 

Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware 

Koko is one of those guys who’s famous and had a good run, but he never won. He was a JTTS. Also, was it strange that he had a song called “Piledriver” when he didn’t use a piledriver? Maybe he did, I’ve never seen him win! Considering the size difference, they have a pretty good match. Ray Traylor is underrated, and Koko was ok when he had a good opponent. Both of them take some decent bumps before the Boss Man Slam finishes.  

 

Video Control takes us backstage where Warrior let’s rip with his first big promo. He mentions coming from “Parts Unknown”. He got there on a spaceship! Drugs eh? Aren’t they great?  

 

Hercules vs. Jake Roberts 

I’ll give Herc a pass after slagging him off in previous reviews. He’s a passable worker compared to Warrior. To give you an idea of how bad this match is; they do the headlock/back suplex/maintain headlock spot. One of the worst spots in all of wrestling. Maybe the superplex/guy who takes it gets the pin beats it. I’m almost relieved when Herc hooks a chinlock. At least you can’t fuck that up.  

 

Unfortunately, that’s what the match settles into. We’re second top here brothers. Let’s try and put some effort in. At least Jake turns it into a spot where he drags Herc out of the ring. Herc is so mad about it, he charges up to Jake and puts him in another chinlock. After 10:00-ish Jake slips out of a hold and hits the DDT out of nowhere for the pin. This was not good.  

 

Video Control gives us a recap of Randy Savage getting the shit kicked out of him by DiBiase, Andre and Heenan while Virgil holds Liz back. So, Savage challenges the villains for a tag match at Summerslam. Heenan accepts. They announce Jess Ventura as the ref. DiBiase implies he’ll pay Ventura off. A week later Savage announces his tag partner is Hulk Hogan, who appears in person. Next up is DiBiase bribing Ventura, along with the caveat that Ventura is scared of Andre.  

 

BEER #6: Vocation Life and Death (6.5% IPA, ****¼) x2

 

Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks 

Jesse Ventura plays an intriguing role here. He’s supposed to be a heel, but is he? He looks more scared of the heels than pals with them. It’s implied Hogan hasn’t wrestled since WrestleMania but that’s not true. He had some warm up matches on house shows coming into this. The last match that made tape was a squash of Boris Zhukov back in April though. 

Both teams are colour co-ordinated. The Mega Powers in yellow and red. The heels in black. Interesting the Mega Powers are using Hulk’s colour scheme.  

They have so many great personalities in this main event. DiBiase has to be very loud to get noticed. Seven hall of famers out here. Everyone knows their role too. Hogan brings the pops, Andre brings the heat and Ted does all the work. Savage? He looks like someone got his taunt button stuck on the Smackdown video game. He literally drops that taunt every few seconds. You know the one. Pointing in the air. Savage is not used to being on the apron. He likes to keep busy. 

 

Hogan coming back here is great for business because people actually missed him. A lesson to anyone who is washed in modern wrestling. You want people to care about you? Just leave. When you come back, you’ll be appreciated. Hogan only took a few months off and people went from hating him to missing him.  

The finish to this match is hilarious as Liz jumps on the apron and whips her skirt off. Everyone is all “whoa…what do we do now”, like they’ve never seen a ladies legs in their life. I can see half of her buttock, Monsoon! The babyfaces jump the bewildered heels, who have the mentality of teenage boys. Big legdrop finishes DiBiase. This was mega-over with mega-popularity of the Mega Powers. I’m still not convinced by the finish on this but hey, everyone loves a pretty girl. I still can’t believe Randy went for this.  

Oh, and Hulk 100% puts his hand on Liz’s ass when she’s up on Savage’s shoulders. Is that part of the story, brother? Caught in 4K. 

He’s just working a shoot brother, to work those marks into a shoot, brother.  

 

The 411: 

I will formulate my thoughts when I have not had 7 beers. 

 

*8 HOURS LATER* 

 

Hey, yeah, so this wasn’t a very good show, but I think you can see that from the snowflakes and lack thereof. The opener was the show stealer but even that wasn’t particularly good. For a first ever Summerslam it really lacked big matches and big builds, like WrestleMania has. Worryingly for the WWF, WrestleMania IV didn’t have much going on either and is one of the worst WrestleMania’s considering how hot the product was in 1987. It feels like the WWF just sleepwalked through 1988. With the NWA struggling financially, they could do what they wanted and what they wanted was uninspired. Which is why competition is good for business.