Adventures in Football #106: McDiarmid Park (St Johnstone) 

 

July 27, 2024 

 

Hello, and welcome back from the summer break. I hope you all had a nice time. To kick-start the season, I joined Mike and Eddie on a trip to Dundee United for a pre-season friendly between their clubs; Dundee United and Luton Town. It was a laugh. The orange derby! It finished 2-2 and we had fun catching up and hanging out. Eddie headed back to Glasgow, and we had a free day on the Saturday. Our initial plan was to go and watch Dundee at Dens Park. Knock the entire of Dundee’s professional grounds out in a single weekend. However, they moved their game to Brechin and suddenly we had a choice. And look what popped up nearby!  

 

ST JOHNSTONE vs. EAST FIFE (Scottish League Cup) 

 

Part of my joy of groundhopping is getting to places I’d never go to otherwise. I’ve been to the Scottish Highlands and the big cities, but I’ve never been to Perth. Having strolled around the place, I can say I like it. The sunshine probably helped. The river Tay seemed a bit more chilled out further upstream, compared to the grey enormity of it by Dundee. Chilled out is a fine description of Perth in general. Everyone seems nicely relaxed. Something that would continue during the game.  

 

After arriving in Perth, we had a bit of a wander around. Got some lunch and started making our way to the ground. It’s a whopping 2.4 miles from Perth station to McDiarmid Park. There is a bus route that drops by the ground, but we had plenty of time and energy, so we went exploring. Some interesting sights in Perth. Including a sprawling war graveyard on a hill, an abandoned former tile warehouse with no roof and the scene of a recent car crash, which had wiped out a staircase. It’s amazing what you see walking around a place.  

 

On arrival at the ground, we’re greeted by a bored but lovely steward out by the road. She’s been there since 11am and based on the amount of traffic in the car park at 2pm, she’s not been busy.  

McDiarmid Park is a lot of corrugated iron behind a spacious car park. I like the trees and hills in the background. Tay Forest Park is off to the north, behind the ground. Perth is about 20 minutes from Dundee on the train and it’s in a part of Scotland that is starting to get hilly. Scotland gets stunning further north of here but it’s not unpleasant on the eyes. 

As you can see even the car park is hilly! “Beware of uneven ground” is not a sign you see often at a football club. The whole experience, to this point, was making me want to explore more Scottish grounds. Everything I’ve seen so far has been tremendous. Scottish football almost entirely exists at a level I like. A lot of my favourite English footballing experiences have been at mid-sized grounds.  

We had some time pre-game so explored the Saints Shop. “Make the Saints Shop your goalll” reads the mural outside it. It’s a cosy little shop with a bloke on the door limiting the number of people inside. About six people at a time. I felt bad about taking up space and left pretty quickly. Their away shirts for this season, a maroon and white ensemble, is a delight. 

After that we briefly popped into a packed Muirton, a bar under the main stand that serves Tennents and is welcoming of away fans. The seagulls, which aggressively flew around Tannadice the previous ngiht, are back. A seagull spotted a chip on the pitch last night and the bastards were soon there in numbers. Over in Brechin, two seagulls were fighting over a roll. It was on telly!  

Inside McDiarmid Park then and it’s a colourful ground but the various colours in the stands makes it look a bit untidy. It does feel like my kind of place though. Old fashioned floods, nice wee scoreboard and a lack of pillars. 

It’s a good ground. There are a lot of English league teams who would love to have this level of setup. It seats around 10k and wouldn’t look out of place in the Championship. There are worse Premier League grounds. The stewards all wear yellow baseball caps to make them easier to see. Stewards are generally good at their jobs. If you have bad stewards (hello, Birmingham City!) then you really are in the shit tier of clubs. I liked all the stewards I spotted at St Johnstone. They seemed friendly and alert without being intrusive.  

One final positive before we get underway and thumbs up for Saints mascot “Brogan”. He’s a good boy! He took plenty of time to pose with fans, taking special care with the kids and offered this thumbs up in our general direction. He’s no Smokey Joe but who is? Good boy, Brogan, good boy!  

 

Flashback to the previous night where, as we were walking away from Tannadice, Eddie suddenly yelled “DUGGY” and starting waving at a dog he’d seen riding in the passenger seat of a car. I do wish I could walk around places with Eddie more often. It’s always a delight.  

 

Onto the game then. Saints are a top flight outfit. East Fife play in League 2, the fourth tier of Scottish football. You would expect a comfortable St Johnstone win. St Johnstone dominated the game. Right from the off. As we supped at our Irn Bru’s, the chances come thick and fast for the Saints front two; Sidibeh and Mbunga Kimpioka. The latter seems incredibly lively and comes close a few times early doors. Including hitting the post. I looked through the players pre-match and Mike saw Mbunga play for AIK a few years ago. Amazing who you reconnect with groundhopping.  

 

It’s the other forward, Adama Sidibeh, who opens the scoring on 15’. A whipped cross from Keltjens is turned in. 1-0. We get bagpipes music to celebrate. I generally dislike goal music, but this felt fine. At least it isn’t “Song 2” or the bloody can-can. Mbunga’s misfortune in front of goal eventually ends on 28’. It’s a simple goal. Ball over the top, exposing that slow East Fife back line, cut back from Raymond. 2-0. Bagpipes. 

I’ve been watching the Saints Ultras during the first half. A small group with drums and flags. They’ve got this South Park looking flag, which looks like some I’ve seen in France. It’s certainly inspired by Continental Ultras. It is a small group, and the rest of the crowd is quiet. Although, I really enjoyed how quiet the crowd was. It’s hard to explain but there was no need for yelling and screaming. Just enjoy some football in the sun, lads.  

I also spot this sign up here; “Jesus Saves!” Sign him up. Is he good on pens? Nearing the end of the half and Mike starts praising the East Fife keeper for a series of decent saves. The next piece of play is a corner the keeper completely misses. Sidibeh bungles the ball over the line. 3-0. No bagpipes because no one is sure if it’s a goal. The fella next to me comments on it. He’s a relaxed bloke and seems pleasantly chilled out during the game. 

 

3-0 at half time and it’s basically over. The Fife boys have tried hard but are nowhere near the level of the Saints. Adama Sidibeh, in particular, is causing chaos with his movement and dribbling. The second half ambles along for 20 minutes until a long shot is fumbled by Saints keeper and Trouten (38 years old!) follows in for an easy finish. 3-1. Should have stuck Jesus in goal. He’d have dealt with that. 

East Fife give it a go and there’s a few minutes where it looks like they might nick something. However, they run out of time and in committing players forward leave big gaps at the back. Substitute Kirk picks up a through ball and slots it home in a clinical finish on 88’. Game over. No bagpipes. Has the fella nipped to the toilet? My neighbour has seen enough. “That’ll do it” he announces, heading to the exit.  

Bad news for him though, we still had time for one more. Mbunga takes on his man, beats him, beats another and rolls the ball calmly into the corner. 5-1. No bagpipes. He’s gone home already. Fair play to Mbunga. He ran his socks off. Great finish. We get a quick announcement of the attendance; 2424. Obviously, that’s not a lot compared to the stadium size, but it was a nice afternoon.  

 

FINAL SCORE: ST JOHNSTONE 5 EAST FIFE 1  

 

Before we leave Perth, let’s give these lads a score or two.  

 

ATMOSPHERE: 

A tough one to rate. I liked the relaxed atmosphere. Lots of happy chatting. People glad to be back at the fitba on a Saturday afternoon. The result was never really in doubt and there will be more challenging games this season. Interesting to see that smaller, younger group of Ultras bringing the noise. *** 

 

COST: 

It was £15 for a ticket, which seems reasonable for a Premier team. I paid £21 for Arbroath in the Championship. I realise there’s likely a discount for League Cup action, which is normal. Good value though. **** 

 

QUALITY: 

A good game of football. It was pleasingly open with lots of chances. It was weird seeing two teams line up with 4-4-2. I don’t even remember the last time I saw that, but it was fun. ***½ 

 

EASE OF ACCESS: 

This was a bit of a ballache. It’s around 30 minutes from Perth train station via bus and about double that for the walk. I like the walk, but I must score this on general convenience. I will give them a bonus for having an enormous car park. ** 

 

MISC: 

I loved how laid back it was around McDiarmid Park. It’s a community club and, with every Scottish club so far, I was made to feel welcome. The facilities were fine, albeit small for the amount of fans. The pub under the stand is just too small and the club shop is miniscule. *** 

 

OVERALL: 15.5 

It’s a decent score for a decent club. Being in Perth made me want to do more Scottish grounds. This is four for me, so far, and each one has been enjoyable. Dundee United, Arbroath, Hibs and St Johnstone so far.  

 

 

Until next time, here’s a photo from outside my hotel in Dundee. Right on the banks of the Tay. “Haste ye back” requested Eddie on Twitter. Oh, you can be sure of that chief.