Arn Does Euro 2024 – Day 3 

 

Heyyyyy, so I was at work for most of today’s fixtures. During which I discovered I couldn’t really do iPlayer on the Beeb gimmick. So, I didn’t get to see as much content as usual for this round of fixtures.  

 

ROMANIA 3 UKRAINE 0 

Welp, who saw this coming? I picked Romania to stop Ukraine from winning here but they went one better. Helped along the way by BANGERS. Stanciu, 29 minutes, BANGER. Marin, 53 minutes, BANGER. Stanciu, trying to score direct from a corner…almost a banger. Dragus, 57 minutes, well, Dennis Man was very impressive in the build. Man was given MOTM (literally Man of the Match), although, because I didn’t see it, I can’t really include him in the team of the tournament so far. I reckon he was close too.  

 

Ukraine will come out of this disappointed that they not only lost but were architects of their own downfall. Giving the ball away in the box for the first goal. Nearly shipping from a corner because Lunin’s position was bad. Lunin won’t be happy again that he let Marin’s shot in. Finally, going to sleep on a short corner. The kind of defensive ineptitude that you expect from pub teams.  

 

BELGIUM 0 SLOVAKIA 1 

Ok, so this one I got to see. And I’m staggered that Belgium didn’t win this. Not just because they’re a more important side with higher profile players but because they battered Slovakia for most of the game. 15 shots, 5 on target, 1.97 xG and two goals disallowed for minor infringements. Slovakia can consider themselves fortunate to get out of the game with three points. 

 

What surprised me was the relative failure of Trossard and Doku to influence the game. Doku looked to get in behind a few times and Trossard seemed to be constantly on the brink of a breakthrough but it never happened for either of them. It probably doesn’t help either of their mindsets that Openda came on for six minutes and killed it down the left wing. Apart from a fingertips handball call he would have gotten a huge assist.  

 

AUSTRIA 0 FRANCE 1 

I got home about 20 minutes into this game and was told Austria had been pressing the gegen to great effect. I can believe it. Rangnick won’t be happy unless all his players die from heat exhaustion. Which is hard because we’re in Germany and it’s not very hot. They grafted away and made France look overrated for about half the game. Then Mbappe did Mbappe things and that was it.  

 

Second half France should have run away with it and missed a bunch of chances. Mbappe missing basically an open goal was criminal. Giroud then swiped at a cross and airballed that sucker in the last minute.  

 

STAND OUTS 

Kylian Mbappe (France). Despite getting his nose rearranged by an Austrian defenders shoulder, it was a strong night for one of the world’s top players. Mbappe was a menace and should have killed the game off by himself. In a team of superstars, which France are, he still stands head and shoulders above everyone.  

 

Amadou Onana (Belgium). Boy, did this guy ever try and put himself in the shop window. He threw himself about all over the pitch and was a force in the opposition box. Man Utd are apparently interested. They can fucking have him! Did they learn nothing from Fellaini?  

 

Dennis Man (Romania). Involved in most of Romania’s best moments. A tricky player to deal with and one who may have hurriedly added to big clubs summer shopping list. He had a great season at Parma with a goal every three games. He had a spell over the Christmas period where he won MOTM (still, literally, Man of the Match) four times in a row. A stud.  

 

FLOPS 

Romelu Lukaku (Belgium). Maybe I’m being hard on him here because he should have got two goals. But, he also missed a bunch of chances and should have scored at least two goals. It feels like another chapter in the Big Rom fucks it up at Big Tournaments discourse.  

 

Timothy Castagne (Belgium). He was crap.  

 

I was going to pick out an Austrian player for this, but it seems harsh because they tried their little socks off. So, I’ll pick Sabitzer because he kept diving and he’s a big boy so he can take the abuse.  

 

Team of the Tournament (so far) 

 

GK: Maignan  

RB: Carvajal  

LB: Ake  

CB: Rudiger (maybe Upamecano) 

CB: Bastoni  

MF: Ruiz  

MF: Bellingham  

MF: Barella  

LW: Wirtz  

RW: Musiala  

ST: Mbappe 

 

NEXT 

 

TURKEY vs GEORGIA 

Georgia are at their first ever major tournament so they will be fired up. We are likely to see some kind of boost for them based on that alone. That said, they’re easily one of the weakest teams in this tournament. How weak? Spain put seven past them last year.  

The trouble with using form is that Turkey’s form is DOGSHIT. They got hammered 6-1 by Austria in March and lost to Poland a week ago. They have also beaten Germany and drawn with Italy recently so it’s tough to get a read on them.  They’re also traditionally sluggish starters. They’ve only ever, like EVER, scored three goals in the first half in the finals of the Euros. Not in one game, that’s cumulative.  

 

I’m going with my head on this one and saying Turkey wins but it could go either way. Prediction is 2-1.  

 

PORTUGAL vs CZECHIA  

Portugal come into the tournament highly touted and with, arguably, the best starting eleven in the entire tournament. While they will almost certainly be hampered by having Roberto Martinez picking the players, with the wealth of talent it’s almost impossible to get it wrong. 

 

Portugal don’t have brilliant form from the friendlies and their two warm up matches with Czechia in mind, Slovenia and especially Croatia, they actually lost. Portugal were impeccable when it mattered though. The Czechs are the opposite, blowing away teams in friendlies and being inconsistent in qualifying.  

 

Portugal played Czechia twice in the Nation’s League back in 2022, when they had a weaker squad, and won both games. Including a 4-0 away win. Czechia’s only major change since then is appointing Ivan Hasek, who hasn’t lost since taking over. When Portugal win, which they should, they tend to rattle a few in. Prediction: 3-0  

 

Because of my work schedule, I’m also going to have to dive into tomorrow’s fixtures as I’ll have zero time in between shifts to land anything.  

 

CROATIA vs ALBANIA 

Croatia had a disasterous start to their campaign, rutted 3-0 by an excellent Spain team. They simply must win here to stand any chance to getting out of a tricky group. They can’t go into the last game against Italy on zero or one point.  

 

We musn’t forget that Croatia are still an excellent side, who managed to best Portugal in their final warm-up game and Spain were outstanding in beating them. Meanwhile, Albania, while they did look “plucky” in attacking Italy early doors, were blown away by the Italian midfield shortly afterwards. Croatia also boasts a midfield that can control games.  

 

I think Croatia will be nervy but their superior ball skills should translate to victory. They seem to be struggling for goals, so it’ll be tight. Prediction: 1-0 

 

GERMANY vs HUNGARY 

Hungary will present more of a threat than Scotland did to Germany. They looked capable going forwards against Switzerland. This will be a more significant test to Germany’s back line. However, the Hungarian camp appears to be in disarray after their opening defeat, which was not a good performance…especially at the back.  

 

If they allow Germany the kind of space they allowed Switzerland they will be crucified and Germany could rack up another big, big win. Imagine Musiala and Wirtz being given the space in behind that Hungary afforded Switzerland? It’ll take longer for Germany to break Hungary down and it will be tighter, but I can’t look past the hosts. Prediction: 2-0 

 

SCOTLAND vs SWITZERLAND 

This is a tough second game for Scotland. Switzerland already have three points and won’t overly commit to attack. However, they will have seen how fragile Scotland are and will take advantage of that. Scotland won’t afford Switzerland the same amount of ‘respect’ they gave Germany and may even get into the other half.  

 

I worry that Scotland’s heads may drop, and they’ll end up on the wrong end of another hiding here. Leaving a potential “all or nothing” clash with fellow losers Hungary in the final match day. Which is the game where Scotland have the best chance of salvaging something. Here? I just don’t believe they’ll get anywhere. Sorry lads. Prediction: 0-3  

 

With that, I’ll return to action with a roundup of all these games on Thursday and a preview of Denmark vs England and Spain vs Italy. The Euros are hotting up!