GCW Emo Fight 

 

March 31, 2023 

 

Hey, hey, we back! So, the site got cyber attacked the Saturday night of Mania weekend. It was inaccessible for me to post for the remainder of Mania weekend, which suuuuucked because I wrote a lot and it all just sat there. Without further ado, here’s what I did that never got posted. I probably bury more people in these than normal because I figured they’d never see the light of day. Also, there are basically no screen grabs because I didn’t have a review to put them into at the time.

 

We’re in LA at the Ukrainian Cultural Center. Hosts are Veda Scott and Jordan Castle. Commentary is tired. This low energy would normally suck but we’re dealing with emo, so it’s ok.  

 

Scramble Match 

Jimmy Lloyd vs. Starboy Charlie vs. Sonico vs. Matt Vandagriff vs. B-Boy vs. Sawyer Wreck  

Please, scrambles aren’t emo, and not every goddamn show needs to start with a scramble match. Sonico triggers me by using Jimmy Havoc’s music. Vandagriff smartly comes out to “My Own Worst Enemy”. B-Boy comes out to Evanescence. I’m chuckling to myself like an idiot. At the start Wreck doesn’t want to fight because she’s “too sad”. Embrace the sadness. Sawyer Wreck is growing on me. She’s a legitimate 6’ 2”. For comparison; Rhea Ripley is 5’ 9”. I walked past Piper Niven in a bar once and I towered over her. Speaking of Piper Niven, I’m still mad at her for breaking an entire pint that was in my lap while she was in the anti-fun police. That made me sad. I had wet pants. 

B-Boy playing at emo here is charming. He strolls around the ring casually hitting people. Sonico isn’t sad enough. Or maybe he’s so sad it drives him to hit topes a lot. I dunno. Vandagriff hits the 450 Splash on Sonico to win. Muted applause. Everyone too sad to cheer properly. Oh shit, we get Lit again. Singalong!  

 

Brooke Havok vs. Janai Kai vs. Sandra Moone  

Havok is new on me, she’s been in AEW. She’s had bad luck with injuries and has had less than 30 matches. Janai Kai was everywhere a few years ago. This is her only booking this weekend*. Janai is the only one who embraces the emo so the other two beat her up. Bit contrary to the show’s gimmick, no? Janai on the other hand does absolutely nothing. It’s a staggering piece of performance art. It has Orange Cassidy vibes. No facial reactions whatsoever. Hoodie up the whole time. She wins by submission and takes a selfie. Aww.  

*She was on TJPW too, I’ve not seen that yet.  

 

Kevin Blackwood vs. Jimmy Jacobs 

Jacobs famously signed for WWE as a writer and stayed there for 2.5 years. I legitimately don’t think I’ve seen him have a good match since he went back onto the Indies but then, I’ve not been watching that much American stuff because Europe has been so good in that same time. I once saw him lose a match to Corey Graves in Middlesbrough though. Blackwood is fine. He has the same basic look as Chris Ridgeway, without the clinical striking ability. Both are exactly how I remember them. It’s weird that Jacobs has the same moveset as 15 years ago, which I didn’t think worked for him then. They do a bunch of near falls and at least there’s some countering involved. Like Blackwood countering a Sliced Bread #2 into a Tombstone. I don’t like the finish. Blackwood hitting a spot off the top, countered into DDT into a choke. The choke doesn’t look good. Blackwood’s attempts at finding a way out are so quick. And the energy of the tap out is wrong for a choke. Save that energy for breaking out of it. I only want to see that big loud tap out if it’s a really painful hold like Kurt Angle’s anklelock and you’re selling the shit out of it. I didn’t like this. Add it to the pile of Jimmy Jacobs matches I don’t like. 

 

Moonlight Express (MAO & Mike Bailey) vs. Los Macizos (Ciclope & Miedo Extremo) vs. Wasted Youth (Dyln McKay & Marcus Mathers) 

It’s nice to see MLX in another match. Bailey hasn’t had a great weekend. Los Macizos are ok. Wasted Youth have been all over this weekend but meshed into a mass of other tag teams. Moonlight Express are a surprise team. Veda gives us the scoop that MAO wanted onto the Emo show and persuaded Bailey to do an extra show. There’s a suspicion Los Macizos are fake emos so MAO starts singing “I Miss You” by Blink 182 and when Los Macizos are unable to join in, it’s pretty clear they’re fake emos.  

 

Moonlight Express drag the quality of this show up, kicking and screaming. They’re on a different level. I didn’t realise this is the first time they’ve tagged since 2020 because I’ve not been watching. It’s a shame MAO can’t go to the USA and them take that team on the road. I know they’ve done that before, but I’m talking ROH and AEW for a year. That level. They do a bunch of fun stuff and the other two teams exist in their shadow. They win comfortably. MAO looked like he had a really nice emo time here. ***¼ 

 

The 411: 

Certainly a lesser show on the Collective. A few wrestlers had fun with the concept. Especially Janai Kai. Then the bar was raised by MAO in the main event. While I didn’t think it was a great show, it was at least short. Clocking in at 98 minutes and that included three musical performances you can skip over. On reflection this was handily in the bottom three shows for the weekend.