NWA Clash of the Champions #2: Miami Mayhem (6.8.88) 

 

June 8, 1988 

 

We’re in Miami, Florida at the James L. Knight International Center. This isn’t a venue that’s hosted a lot of wrestling, but AEW have started using it. It’s also not a sports arena like almost every other wrestling venue the big three use. It’s an auditorium, which has been used for TV shows and concerts. Hosts are Tony Schiavone and Bob Caudle. This is one of the first major NWA shows where I don’t remember doing this before. Is that because it’s so unmemorable? Or have I just not seen it?  

 

Jim Ross does an “all the stars are here” bit announcing a bunch of Z-list celebrities that I’ve never heard of. He literally said “all the stars are here” too, making it all the better. No one gets an onscreen graphic so I can’t even google to tell you who they are. Jabronies galore! 

 

Bob Caudle is a nightmare for TV. He doesn’t stand still when he’s talking. Tony is rock solid, straight into hard-cam. What a pro. Caudle’s eyes are darting all over the place. Ideal for radio.  

 

NWA United States Championship 

Barry Windham (c) vs. Brad Armstrong 

This feels like it should be a free TV squash match on Worldwide or something. I like Brad Armstrong, but the NWA never presented him as a star, so he always felt like an enhancement guy. I guess the idea was to change that perception here, having him go even stevens with Barry.  

 

I feel like they wanted Barry to work like Tully Blanchard and be the mid-card ace in singles. The guy you worked on your way up to compete with Flair on the top. Barry just doesn’t wrestle that way. He’s far better as a babyface. The switch to heel means he stalls a lot. “We knew it was going to be a fast-paced match” says Caudle, as Brad grinds away a side headlock for ages.  

 

Not only is it not the “fast paced” match Caudle was hoping for, but it’s also not good at all. It leans on Windham’s heel work, usually with assists from JJ Dillon on the floor. There’s a guy in the front row in a pastel beige suit and matching hat and he is HOT about Dillon’s involvement. Caudle calls the guard rail a “steel cage” four times, like he’s trying to annoy people.  

 

For Armstrong’s big comeback it becomes apparent the ring isn’t big enough for a lot of their ideas. Windham can’t stride across the ring and Armstrong can’t get a dropkick in the space. I often wondered why the NWA/WCW ring was so much smaller. It definitely caused issues here. Brad gets caught coming off the top and the Iron Claw finishes for Big Bazza. This was painfully ok-ish.  

 

Video Control gives us an interview with the returning Rock N’ Roll Express, who’ve been absent from the NWA since January, when they bailed over a pay dispute on the eve of the Bunkhouse Stampede.  

I’m begging someone in this company to tell people where the cameras are. Someone has to steer Morton into shot here. I would say “off camera” but you see the hand come in.  

From there we go to the Blackhawk (a boat belonging to a Chicago sports team, I forget which) for the contract signing between Ric Flair and Lex Luger for the NWA title match in July. Tony, not for the last time, calls it the “biggest contract signing in history”. Don’t get too excited for this one, their great match is later in the year.  

 

We go back outside as the Four Horsemen arrive at the building. Only about an hour before Arn & Tully are due in the ring!  

Lex Luger arrives shortly afterwards and gets jumped by the Horsemen. That’s what you get, dumbass, for turning up solo to a gang fight. Luger gets his clothes ripped off and is bleeding. We really are in Florida! 10/10 for realism.  

 

NWA United States Tag Team Championship 

Fantastics (c) vs. Sheepherders  

Can Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers perform a miracle here and get something passable out of the Sheepfuckers? I have never gotten them at all. Dreadful technically. All act and it’s a terrible act. It’s such a bad pairing that adding Rip Morgan as the corner man actually improved it.  

Haha. I don’t even know where New Zeland is! Take that, Flight of the Concords. Most of my complaints about this match would apply to every Bush-herders contest. The offence is comical. The selling is subpar. The bumps look wrong. Here, Luke takes bad bumps to a new level by failing to understand the mechanics of a crucifix. Poor Tommy Rogers ends up falling off him and Luke takes the bump flatback, like an asshole.  

 

In defence of the Sheepwhackers, this is arguably their best performance as a team. They’re borderline ok. If that doesn’t put the Fantastics in contention for tag team of the year, I don’t know what else will. They do a bunch of weird illegal stuff like the Fantastics alternating on splashing and pinning both ‘Herders. None of these pins are legal, ref. Oh, it’s Teddy Long. Somewhat get Teddy a rulebook, please.  

 

Tommy Rogers does an awesome job of selling in this. The ‘Herders destroy his back, mostly with illegal plunder, which Teddy misses. Rogers also does a flip bump where he lands right on his neck. Boy, it’s something. Is this match…GOOD? The only thing that says “no” for me is the hot tag to Fulton, which leads directly to the finish, is lukewarm at best. Tommy Rogers was like the second coming of Christ here though. ***. Best Sheepherders match, ever.  

 

We get a very dapper Dr Death out here to talk about Lex Luger. Christ, he’s a horrible promo. It doesn’t get talked about enough how bad Steve Williams was at stringing a sentence together. You could hear the cogs whirring. Which is good because listening to him talk was horrible. We’re told Lex Luger has been taken to hospital and JR is awaiting news. Let’s hope he’s discharged himself and driven an ambulance back to the arena to kick Flair’s ass after the main event finishes. What a hot story, huh!  

 

Varsity Club vs. Ronnie & Jimmy Garvin  

They set this up at the Crockett Cup and I remember being quite fired up about it. Kevin Sullivan is in the shark cage but unlike JJ Dillon he’s not suspended over the ring.  

Doc joins commentary and jesus wept, he’s awful. At least he’s not as bad as in promos but even so, he stinks. The match lacks all the heat they had in building to it. It’s painfully sluggish and the focus seems almost entirely on Kevin Sullivan trying to entice Precious, who has the key to his cage, over to him. Because no one is watching, the Varsity Club just dog the match. The only person who gives a shit is Ronnie Garvin, former NWA champion. He plays Garvin in peril and delivers some patented overhand chops. Otherwise, this is a total pass. The production crew even miss the finish because they’re watching Sullivan and Precious. Jimmy Garvin nicks it with a roll up.  

 

Doc goes in to save Precious, but she’s been all warped and stuff and turns her back on Jimmy Garvin to leave with Kevin Sullivan. Wrestling is about suspending your disbelief, but I’m still surprised anyone finds Kevin Sullivan attractive. He looks like a garden gnome.  

 

BEHOLD! The latest fever dream of a concept from the mind of Dusty Rhodes. The Tower of Doom. A triple cage, with trap doors in between levels. Tony has a hell of a time trying to explain it.  

Bob Caudle busts out the “original parchment” that Kevin Sullivan found on his travels. It’s from “China, or somewhere”. Precision, gentlemen. God is in the details.  

 

Nikita Koloff vs. Al Perez 

Perez is dubbed the “Latin Sensation” here. I’m pretty WWF stole that for Savio Vega. Koloff has slimmed down and lost interest in wrestling. His wife is ill and would pass away in 1989. His heart isn’t in it anymore.  

Al Perez is not the man to drag a performance out of him either. On the back of the last match, which was a lot of nothing, we get more of the same here. The match creeps along until Larry Zbyszko runs in for the DQ. Koloff was still over in 1988, but it was clear he wasn’t invested like he was beforehand.  

 

NWA World Tag Team Championship 

Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard (c) vs. Sting & Dusty Rhodes 

I don’t know what Dusty was thinking here but he feels very out of place. That said, he’s mega over because it’s Florida. If there’s such a thing as “Dusty Country”, we’re in it. Sting has a blast bumping the Horsemen all over the place. Both Arn and Tully are game for bouncing around. It’s hard to believe they’d be in the WWF before the year was out. What a bizarre promotion the NWA was in 1988.  

 

Eventually we settle into the heat and it’s on Sting. No surprises there. Sting is a versatile performer and can play this role perfectly. Arn murders the poor Stinger with a DDT on the floor. Bob Caudle claims he’s never seen this happen, although it was part of the Steamboat-Roberts storyline. “Never” in this case meaning “never in this promotion”. We go around 10:00 and Sting bumps the ref intentionally. It rumbles on to double DQ after Barry Windham runs in to put the Claw on Dusty.  

 

They gave them short thrift here. It was the shortest match on the show and the only one I would have enjoyed seeing more of. The non-finish is particularly painful as it just reinforced the feeling that this show just existed to set up other stuff. However, I am going *** because I love Arn & Tully and their dynamic with the plucky babyface Sting and the mega over babyface Dusty did work.  

 

The 411: 

The two tag title matches save what was a lacklustre second Clash of the Champions show. I’m glad I saw it. The Fantastics and the Brain Busters are two great tag teams and it’s always nice to see them work. It’s a shame they couldn’t put them together on this show. Fantastics could definitely take a job to Arn & Tully and it would have been electric. Although, I’m aware the Fantastics aren’t that over in Florida whereas Dusty is. Compared to Clash 1, this is a big drop off in excitement and match quality and meaningfulness.  

 

The whole show feels like it’s designed to sell something else. The urgency and competitiveness of going head-to-head with WrestleMania IV out of the window, it stutters through a 2-hour TV block. I did enjoy the Lex Luger angle though, as it took him out of proceedings for the main event and made the Barry Windham assault make sense. No one helps Sting and Dusty. That would have been Luger’s save, logically. Although, again, the long-term booking is what drives it. They’re trying to sell tickets to Great American Bash.