NWA Starrcade 1989 – Future Shock (12.13.89) review 

We’re in Hotlanta, Georgia at the Omni for the biggest NWA show of the year and this year, boy howdy, have they dropped the fucking ball on the biggest show of the year. Instead of the show concluding some of the year’s hottest feuds, it’s this insane double tournament pitting Flair vs Sting vs Luger vs Muta and Steiners vs Doom vs Roadwarriors vs Wild Samoans. It’s crackers. The show did a paltry 1.3 buyrate and only drew around 6000 fans. The NWA, for all the great matches they put on in 1989, were not doing great numbers. I loved most of the NWA shows in 1989 and I wouldn’t have bought this show. It’s stupid.  

 

Some scoring before we get underway.  

 

• 20 points for a win via pinfall or submission 

• 15 points for a screwy win (count out) 

• 10 points for a really screwy win (DQ) 

• 5 points for a draw 

 

This show fills me with so much dread that I can’t even begin to play the video. I can’t bring myself to do it.  

 

Fine, let’s just crack on with it. 

 

Hosts are Jim Ross, Jim Cornette and Terry Funk. The Funker only retired (again) last month and I would have paid good money to see him turn on Flair again after this show. Oh well. Gary Michael Cappetta asks us to stand for the national anthem. I remain seated. Take that, GMC.  

The commentary is split so Funk calls the singles match and Cornette analyses the tag team stuff. GMC announces all the competitors, and they chill on the stage for a bit. Despite the Steiners being the tag champs, the belts are not on the line at all so there’s no point doing all this crap. The Skyscrapers were supposed to be in this tournament, but Sid punctured his lung, and they’re replaced by the Wild Samoans, or the Samoan Swat Team as Cornette calls them.  

 

“Woman Presents” Doom vs. Steiner Brothers 

This should be mega-heated as Woman turned on the Steiners to form Doom. After Rick Steiner tried to kill her, she’s recruited Nitron (Tyler Mane) to be her bodyguard.  

WCW’s crack camera team manages to shoot Woman right into the lights, so you get lens flare. Fuck off, JJ Abrams. The shots of the crowd don’t help as there are empty seats everywhere. Right in front of hard cam. It’s like being at the AWA.  

Jim Ross, pro-wrestling journalist, still can’t identify either of Doom despite having called a lot of Butch Reed matches and being very aware of Ron Simmons collegiate career. Cornette calls the format “innovative”. Oh, Jim, was this one of yours? It’s a honker mate. It honks.  

 

As I said at the start of the match; it should be heated. It isn’t. The trouble with Woman turning on Rick is that there’s no match at the end of that. It has to be her surrogates getting beaten up and they’ve already done that once. Nitron’s performance at ringside puts him on my ‘worst wrestler of the year’ shortlist.  

 

The match is fine, but it never gets out of second gear, presumably because they have to work two more matches each. As the time limit runs out Steinerlines occur. Lots of them. It’s the best part of the match. Nitron eats one too. They all spill out for a brawl but Rick rolls back in and the Steiners win. 15 points for them. If this had a lot more Steinerlines it might have been good.  

 

Sting vs. Lex Luger 

As with the opener, you would think this was heated as they had beef coming into this. It’s not their first singles match, that was back in 1987, but it’s the first big one. They used to be a tag team and spent the last couple of months warming up for this. Sting starts hot and heavy, and we get more clotheslines.  

 

For those who think these guys wrestled each other all the time, their next (televised) singles match is at Superbrawl II (1992) and after that it’s a Nitro in 1999. They tagged together a lot more. For two guys who hung out all the time, you’d think they would have killer chemistry in the ring.  

They don’t. It’s fine, don’t get me wrong, but Luger works even softer than usual. His kicks in this are horrible. My guess is he didn’t trust himself not to hurt someone and just laid right off on the strikes. I’d rather he did that than hurt people but also Kurisu beating the piss out of Jado in FMW was miles more entertaining than anything he does here.  

 

GMC announces the 12:00 mark and I’m confused because the match doesn’t run that long. They’ve gimmicked the time limits for some bizarre reason. Hey, WCW! They can’t even count! They fuck up a spot with Sting realising Luger hasn’t read the spot at all and he just stops and chokes him. GMC announces 14:00 (they’re really taking the piss now). Nick Patrick tries to explain the finish and they fuck that up with Luger eventually falling on top. This might be the worst finish I’ve ever seen. They just completely fucked it up. The post match arguing with Luger, Patrick and Sting is hilarious as they’re talking about the fucked up finish. Sadness reigns.  

 

Doom vs. Roadwarriors 

Just what we need to perk the crowd up; a second Doom match! Where is that goddamn Samoan team? Why aren’t they wrestling here? “That was a pretty strange ending to the Luger and Sting match” says Cornette, openly mocking the finish. He also implies Ross has been hitting on the scoreboard girl. The Roadies run over Doom and Woman screams “what is happening?” Your team is being jobbed out, luv. They literally have a cameraman pointing a lens right at Woman all match. New Japan would be proud. 

Interesting to note she’s wearing her wedding ring here. She married Kevin Sullivan in 1985. Comms don’t pick up on it. Probably because the inevitable wrestling question would be “who is her husband?” “Who’d he ever beat?” etc. GMC claims this match has reached 11:00. Pure bullshit. Although it feels that long. Hawk lariats Reed blindside and Animal pins him. 20 points for the Roadies. Doom remain on zero. Nancy looks upset about it. This match was dull. 

 

Great Muta vs. Ric Flair 

Flair has Ole and Arn Anderson in his corner. The Horsemen reunion in full force now. Arn has been back for all of a week-ten days. Imagine if Tully came back too? This is SPEED Flair. He hits a bunch of chops and hooks the Figure Four. Buzz Sawyer and Dragon Master attempt to run in. Muta gets the moonsault but Flair blocks it and gets the pin. That’s the entire match. We’re done in under two minutes. 

 

Hiliariously Muta had an unbeaten streak that had lasted almost an entire year and we’re done with it inside of two minutes. Another braindead piece of WCW booking. 

 

Steiner Brothers vs. Roadwarriors 

Where the fuck are the Samoans? You would think, logically, that this is the babyface vs babyface, mega match up should headline the tag part of this show. Instead of that it goes on in the middle somewhere and then three Samoan matches in a row. There’s a missing bit in the booking meeting notes and then just a page reading “profit”. Maybe Ron Simmons just really wanted to leave early to beat the traffic. 

 

The chemistry isn’t quite right as they’re too similar. Scott decides he’s going to take some bumps and Hawk smacks him around. The receipt is an overhead belly to belly superplex and Hawk almost lands on his head. The Roadies try a sidewinder double team, but Scott gets his shoulder up and Animal pins himself. Steiners score a clean pinfall win over the Roadies. Has that ever happened before? The match is fairly underwhelming but has a few cool big spots. 

 

Great Muta vs. Sting 

Both guys lost their opener, which means they’re on the brink of elimination already. These two had a solid match at GAB, at around ***. Funk, on comms, saying he wished he could do flips and moonsaults and stuff is funny in retrospect. Muta busts out the Cattle Mutilation here and the crowd continues to be somewhat muted. We’re going to have to come to terms with the concept having bombed, guys.  

 

Muta’s moveset in 1989 was outstanding. He was doing things most guys hadn’t even thought of. The moonsault, land on feet, jumping back kick sequence is so ahead of its time. Sting then superplexes him for the pin, leaving Muta on fuck all after two matches and effectively finished. Much like Doom. Great booking! Le sigh. 

 

Wild Samoans vs. Doom 

Doom are already toast but Woman had another outfit, so we’re doing this anyway. The Wild Samoans are a repackaged Samoan Swat Team. I’m not sure why they did this as the combination of Fatu, Samu and Samoan Savage kept going under the Samoan Swat Team name after this anyway. Samu is the guy missing out here.  

Fatu looks positively skinny here. Given as both teams are heel and Doom are already out, nobody cares about this. Total apathy from the crowd. You usually do a heel-heel match if you’re thinking of turning someone face but this is just poor planning. It rumbles on for ages too. It’s only eight minutes but it feels a lot longer. Fatu and Reed clash heads and Humperdink pushes Fatu on top for the pin. Woman looks positively enraged.  

 

The Great Muta has been relegated from the UEFA Nation’s League.

 

Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair 

JR tells us there’s nothing but pride up for grabs here, as neither title is on the line. Flair should have defended the title throughout, to add some spice to proceedings.  

Flair starts flashing “four” Horsemen signs around before we start as the group had recently re-emerged. Loads of people are flashing those signs back. Normally Luger would draw a positive reaction, especially during this cool heel run, but Atlanta get on his case. This is Flair Country. It’s weird to see this match with the roles reversed. Luger all cowardly and Flair all cocky and confident. Babyface Flair was much better than you would think. I’d go as far as to say, he was better as a face than a heel.  

 

Flair lights Luger up with the chops and boy, are those satisfying sounding. Meanwhile, this is Luger before he’s flip-flopped on the turns, and it’s become apparent that he’s just not good at carrying over personality from heel to face. This heel run is Luger at his level best. He does a great job at taking a beating from Flair. The combination of chops and roll ups is golden. 

 

It’s a pity Luger gets any offence at all because it’s clear he’s nowhere near as good as Flair at hitting stuff, unless Flair throws himself into it. You can see the seeds for the heel Flair vs face Luger match up, which is coming in February. Flair has this won with the Figure Four and Luger does an incredible job of selling it, but the time limit expires at 17:15. A reminder the actual time limit was 15:00. I’ll cut them some slack because the match was awesome. ***¾ 

 

Wild Samoans vs. Steiner Brothers 

Rick decides to play this one for chuckles. All I want is some clotheslines Rick, that’s all I need here. Rick duly obliges and manages to knock a strand of braid off Samoan Savage’s hair! Cornette tells us the MXP weren’t into this tournament, which is a shame as they’d have been a great fit and go heel or face on the drop of a dime. Scott gets his groin worked over. That’s bad news for a legendary cocksman like himself. Perhaps it’s a rib. 

 

Scott’s comeback is the Frankensteiner, which doesn’t even equal a tag let alone a pinfall. It’s so weird how they treated that move. Your big move should mean something. GMC announces 14 minutes have gone by. Has it? That was a looooong heat segment. One of the Samoans gets tossed over the top rope and apparently that’s a DQ? Wait, is that STILL A FUCKING RULE IN THIS COMPANY???? I’ve seen people get thrown over the top rope all year. It’s never a DQ. The replay shows it was defensive too, not even deliberate. A terrible, horseshit piece of booking.  

 

Great Muta vs. Lex Luger 

Lex is out here doing some motherfuckin’ selling! The Figure Four did some damage. The crowd decide to support Muta, as they hate Luger that much. Which is not what I would have expected on any other show in late 1989. I guess Muta is pretty cool. Not here though, he just works the leg and slowly strolls around between spots. Lex does all the work from underneath.  

 

If anything, it should turn Lex face as he guts out an injury and won’t submit. Instead the Hotlanta locals chant “break it” as Muta works over the leg. Lex doesn’t help his cause by doing the stupid foot stomp when he’s hitting his shitty strikes. Wrestlers, eh? Despite most of his selling being good and his 1989 being the best year of his career, there are signs here that Luger is going to stink up the 90s.  

 

GMC claims we’re at 13:00 and we’re really not mate. I don’t know who the timekeeper is, but he’s not good at his job. Luger can barely stand so Muta, genius that he is, blows mist his face for the DQ. What a god-awful finish that is. The match was boring and these two had no chemistry at all. Lex finishes on 35 points, meaning whoever wins the main event wins the whole thing. 

 

Wild Samoans vs. Roadwarriors 

Seeing as the Samoans beat the Steiners, the winner of this match wins the whole thing. Roadies need a pinfall or submission to make sure of the duke. Jim Cornette runs us through all this, but the crowd don’t know this shit. The good news is that the crowd just wants the Roadies to win and doesn’t care about the tournament. 

 

This is an ugly match with zero chemistry. Hawk looks like he’s had enough for one day and just wants to go to the pub. The crowd respond by ignoring it and chatting amongst themselves. What a spectacular idea this tournament was! They fuck up a backdrop (yikes) and nobody cares. Oh no, is the promotion dying in front of my eyes here? What the fuck happened? How did we go from the hottest promotion on the planet to this nonsense at their version of Wrestlemania?  

 

Hot tag to Hawk, they fuck up again, and Hawk wins with a clothesline off the top to win the tournament. Boy, did this ever suck! A nailed on DUD and one of the worst matches of the year. You would think the Roadies would at least get a title shot out of this but instead it was more like a goodbye present and they jumped to the WWF six months later.  

 

Sting vs. Ric Flair 

The good thing about this show is the 15:00 time limits mean they won’t have a boring 45:00 match that everyone pretends to like. (I gave it ****, pure hypocrisy here). The match is a clever contest where Flair starts out toe to toe but is soon overpowered by Sting. Suddenly, Flair starts selling like a heel. The difference between Flair here and Flair against Luger is palpable. It’s unfortunate his face run had to end here. Surely, there was money in that Flair-Luger match on PPV. 

 

The chops here aren’t fun like they were against Luger. Sting looks pained and people like him, so it doesn’t have the same vibe. That’s 100% intentional. Flair also takes little shortcuts. Subtle little things where he’s not exactly playing by the rules. He runs Sting into the rail, pulls the tights a little and argues with the ref. It escalates too. What’s stunning about Flair is the sheer number of wrestling moves he does here. Pinning combinations you never see. Like the abdominal stretch, right into a roll up.  

Sting brings purest power in response. The kind of knuckleheaded, smashmouth stuff that fans eat up. Sting also starts no selling the chops. Oh, now we play! Flair has to go to the big guns, and he goes after the leg. We’re reminded if this goes to a draw then Luger wins. That wouldn’t have been that bad of an idea. It raises frustrations between Flair and Sting, and we get Flair vs Luger, which everyone wants to see. I guess you can’t have a heel winning the main event of the biggest show of the year*. 

 

*This is where I’m looking straight at Triple H, Wrestlemania 2000. What the hell were you thinking?   

 

GMC tells us time is running out and Flair goes for the Figure Four, but Sting rolls him up for the pin at 14:45. Flair looks mad, and the Andersons rush the ring. Funk suggests Sting is about to get his ass kicked but instead the Horsemen congratulate him and flash the “four” signs to the crowd. ****. This was a fantastic use of 15 minutes. Sting showing babyface fire, Flair slowly slipping into his old habits and then, out of nowhere, Sting beats him for the first time.  

 

WHOOO! So, what happened? I ask this because the next WCW PPV is Wrestlewar 1990, a show headlined by a heel Flair against a face Luger. Well, Sting joined the Four Horsemen, but he personally didn’t want to be in there. Babyfaces or not. They had Sting challenge Flair for the title, because he won this tournament and had pinned Flair. So, the Horsemen kicked him out, turning Flair heel in the process. Sting then got injured, thus fucking the whole storyline up, and they had to turn Luger face with Sting egging him on to be a better person. The result is Wrestlewar 1990 and a corker of a main event. We’ll get to that in due course.  

 

The 411: 

This show is a waste of time. I knew that going in and I still sat through it because I wanted to see what had happened and how it would affect ongoing storylines. I am that god damn dedicated people. There are a couple of bangers though and you should probably check out the Flair matches from this show. Slick Ric had the best year of his entire career in 1989, and it didn’t just stop because all the guys he was feuding with left. It’s touch and go whether the Luger or Sting match is better. They’re both good in different ways, which makes this a real thrill if you love Flair but hate that his matches are all the same. They’re totally different here. The tag matches are a total waste of time though. You can just skip that.  

 

NEXT: Wrestlewar 1990 for WCW but I’ll see you at the movies. Yes, I’m reviewing No Holds Barred: The Match/The Movie and I’m watching the movie.