WWF Survivor Series 1989 (11.23.89) review 

 

November 23, 1989 

 

We’re in Rosemount (Chicago), Illinois at the Rosemount Horizon. This building is now known as the All-State Arena but as a kid it was always the Rosemount Horizon. Opening in 1980, it was home to an assortment of Chicago area sports teams. A host of famous shows and PPVs have been held here including Wrestlemania three times (2, 13 and 22). This is the first of three Survivor Series shows that aired from here. On top of that is a host of other PPVs and events. It’s one the company’s favourite venues to run but it’s also hosted shows for WCW and AWA. Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura. This did a 3.34 buyrate and running Thanksgiving had become profitable for the WWF, although they stole the slot from the NWA, the bastards.  

Video Control gives us clips of the WWF’s Superstars telling us what they’re thankful for. Dusty is thankful for his polka dots. Warrior yells incoherently into the camera.  

 

Bad News Brown, Big Boss Man, Rick Martel & Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes, Tito Santana, Brutus Beefcake & Red Rooster 

Dusty is one of those guys who full on embraced the stupidity of the WWF. Which is why he got over and lots of other NWA guys never did in New York. Look at that dweeb Terry Taylor, walking around with a red mohawk! It’s jarring watching this style of wrestling after back-to-back NWA shows. It’s all punches and goofy selling. Taylor does bring some plucky underdog selling but I can’t take him seriously with that stupid haircut. The one hot feud they have in this match is Santana-Martel and that cooks for a while. It doesn’t last long enough as Martel wins with a handful of tights and Tito is gone. Not the smartest move to get rid of the hottest feud and one of the better workers.  

 

Sapphire is shown, covered in polka dots, as a Dusty Rhodes Fan at ringside. She was a wrestler prior to this WWF run, by the by, under the name Princess Dark Cloud. When she debuted, in 1976 mind you, she was already 42 years old and was involved in wrestling, driving workers to shows. Boss Man accidentally bashes Bad News, as Gorilla talks about Brown being a loner who doesn’t belong in this sort of match. It makes you wonder why he signed up for something like this! Anyway, he walks out, and the heels are down to three members.  

 

It’s surprising how dull this match has been. There’s been a lack of ideas, and the faces have taken it in turns to eat heat. Brutus knocks HTM out with a high knee, of all things. Jeeesus. At least roll the poor guy up. Beefcake gets rid of Martel with a sunset flip after Rick gets caught holding the ropes. That was cute. It would have been better if Tito had beat him rather than this pointless business. Rooster comes in and gets flattened by Boss Man with his patented side slam. JOBBER!  

 

Boss Man vs. Dusty and Beefcake to conclude then and Dusty quicks finishes with a crossbody. Of sorts. This was totally fine but nothing of note happened. It needed to be hotter as an opener and they could have made a lot more of the only actual feud; Santana vs. Martel. **½ 

Dusty actually blades here, after Boss Man whacks him with the night stick. Why is it called a night stick? Because it was carried by night patrols. Boss Man rants about the violence he just put upon Dusty, calling him a “stupid puke”. Or perhaps Sean Mooney. He is a stupid puke, to be fair.  

 

Jim Duggan, Hercules, Bret Hart & Ronnie Garvin vs. Randy Savage, Earthquake, Dino Bravo & Greg Valentine 

A fresh-faced John Tenta only debuted a few weeks before this. Seeing as his name was clearly re-recorded on the tape, I’m guessing he replaced someone else in this match. My guess would be Akeem, who got injured around the same time. Quake had been doing ok for himself in AJPW and the “Canadian Earthquake” gimmick was very much to support Dino Bravo here, although Tenta was also Canadian.  

 

The goofiness continues here with a bunch of goofy selling, luckily salvaged by Bret. Hart exists on a different plane to all these other guys. It’s even more jarring than switching from NWA to this when Bret tags Garvin in to work Bravo. The bumps are embarrassing. Quake sits on Herc, who had been SHIT in this match, and he’s gone.  

 

You know how I would fantasy book this? I’d have all the losers brawl to the back and have Bret vs. Savage for 20:00. At least Garvin and Hammer chop each other a lot and have a heated rivalry. Duggan tags in blind and clotheslines Valentine. 3-3.  

 

Watching Duggan is fascinating here as he has to work so hard just to keep up with Savage. They’re feuding on the house shows and it’s sped up his work no end. He still sucks but he sucks a lot quicker than before.  

Savage makes a point of being scared of Bret Hart, when the Hitman slowly climbs in there. One of Bret’s major advantages is that he looked cool. A lot of WWF wrestlers looked like dorks. It was part of the cartoon presentation. Bret just kinda slid by that with his sunglasses and his leather jacket. Garvin walks into the sideslam and he’s gone. 3-2 heels. 

 

I get my Savage-Bret match, albeit more like 3:00 than 20:00. It does make me wonder why Bret got stuck in tags for as long as he did. He was clearly talented, in an era where the WWF were sorely lacking in technical wizards. If the aim here is to get Bret Hart over, then it’s mission accomplished. Although, this being WWF, I rather think he got himself over. Bret goes flying into the buckles and Savage finishes with the Big Elbow. 3-1 heels. Duggan on his own. He does ok for a while but gets thrown out of the ring and loses on count out. Predictably he’s a bad loser and goes after everyone with a 2×4.  

 

This was mostly poor. Bret Hart was head and shoulders above everyone else. Apart from Savage, but even he felt muted. Like he was bummed out about his spot on the card.  

 

Promo Time: The Genius 

Oh, fuck off, you sad twat.  

 

Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Barbarian & Warlord vs. Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts & Demolition  

Very odd to see Hogan in the midcard. Especially as they built the summer PPV off Hogan-Zeus and have a Hogan-Zeus PPV coming up.  

Given that it’s Survivor Series, they’re bound to find a cheap way to get around no one taking a job in the Hogan-Zeus situation. The solution? Zeus gets disqualified after a few minutes. Earl Hebner tries to drag Zeus off Hogan and Zeus shoves the ref over. DiBiase explaining cash flow to Zeus on his way out. “You want to strangle him to death, do it on the No Holds Barred The Match/The Movie PPV brother, that’s where the big bucks are. You get more points off the vig”.  

 

DiBiase, having explained economics, just goes ahead and bumps around for everyone else. DiBiase got the raw end of 1989. He’d have been in line for a PPV title shot at one of the bigger shows without No Holds Barred. Who’s to say he didn’t deserve a run with the strap? Powers of Pain vs. Demolition is met by silence, which reflects how badly the WWF’s tag division is going. Compare this to the reaction the Roadwarriors were still getting in the NWA. Just to show how lame the tag division is going, Mr Fuji trips Ax to eliminate him. Nobody cares. 

 

The crowd are begging for a DDT. Surely, SURELY, you can allow someone to get drilled with a DDT in this match. Of all matches. Nope. Smash is out next, caught by a blind tag and both of Demolition looked like geeks here with weak eliminations. Survivor Series eliminations. Just wall to wall shit finishes and banter. Whose dick do I have to suck to get a fucking DDT?  

 

Jake gets picked off for heat and it goes on forever. Hogan gets a hot tag and Powers of Pain double team him and they both get disqualified. Jesus, are we running the shitty finish playbook from A to Z here? Hogan has now eliminated three guys on DQ. The wrestling equivalent of Man United getting three penalties in one game. Pulk Pogan. Tap in merchant.  

At least matters pick up near the finish as we’re left with DiBiase, Hogan and Jake. DiBiase and Roberts bringing back spots from their Mid-South feud. Virgil runs in so we can finally get our DDT and Ted boots Roberts with a fist drop. A FIST DROP! Hahaha, what the fuck man. A fist drop? Really?  

Hogan is still down selling the Million Dollar Dream. That was AGES ago! Anyway, it’s Hogan, so he recovers and the legdrop finishes. This was very long. Nearly 30:00. They did not have 30:00 of stuff. Zeus was disqualified after 3:00 to put all that into perspective. Ted DiBiase was fantastic but I’m not rating on individual performances. The overall match was middling.  

 

Video Control takes us backstage where Gene Okerlund interviews Hogan and Beefcake about No Holds Barred. That’s coming around Christmas time and will be a cage match. Beefcake got to be a survivor tonight simply because of his presence in that match! Hogan cryptically thinks that Beefcake’s scissors are the solution to Zeus. He’s got no fucking hair, what are you on about? Sherri comes in to yell and throw powder at the faces and then Zeus and Savage run in to assault them. No Holds Barred: The Match/The Movie takes place on December 27, 1989. The idea being they’ll show the movie on PPV and then there’s a pre-taped match pitting Hogan & Beefcake against Zeus & Savage in a cage! I AM SO THERE.  

 

We head back to comms and Jesse Ventura is wearing his Abraxas crew t-shirt this evening. Abraxas was Ventura’s first big starring role in Hollywood. There’s a reason you’re probably looking blankly at the screen. It’s because it stank. Arnold Schwarzenegger got offered it and passed because Terminator 2 was a thing and he’s not insane.  

Ventura got $250,000 for Abraxas and might have felt like the film was a gateway into a wider world of Hollywood green. In fact, it was so bad, it spelled the death knell for his acting career and the rest of his film appearances would be in supporting roles or simply playing himself.  

 

There’s an argument that Ventura had a better film career than Hogan and that’s almost certainly true but only because his first couple of roles were in Arnie movies. Hogan tried to be his own man, without realising that he sucked at acting. After No Holds Barred (where he pushed his acting limits by playing a wrestler) was Suburban Commando, Mr Nanny, Thunder in Paradise, Secret Agent Club, Santa with Muscles, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain and The Ultimate Weapon. Are any of these any good? No. 1-0 Ventura*.  

 

*Technically 1-0 Piper too because They Live is miles better than any movie Hogan has starred in.  

 

I’ve made fun of No Holds Barred quite often but you can read my full, unabridged thoughts when I review the FILM as well as the match for that PPV nonsense they’re running in December. I will say this beforehand though, it performed better financially than anyone gives it credit for. A minor hit that pulled in $16M at the US Box Office, which Vince considered a failure because he didn’t realise how movies worked. Hogan did open a movie with just his own name value. Didn’t do that, did you Jess? 1-1.  

 

Rick Rude, Mr Perfect & Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka & Bushwhackers 

Do I skip this because of the Bushwhackers? I feel like Rude, Perfect and Piper offset it. Piper has certainly assembled the worst fucking team, ever. Why would he team with Snuka after their feud too? Maybe Roddy should have whacked Snuka a bit harder with that coconut. Snuka at least knows his audience. He does a few spots and then puts Jacques away with the Superfly Splash.  

 

The Rougeau’s were finished here, and Raymond probably should have been first out as he was the injured one. They took a few months off and had one final match at the Rumble vs. Bushwhackers, which I have no intention of watching. Ray would remain in the company and ran commentary for the French language audience. Jacques returned as The Mountie. Piper finishes Ray off with a piledriver here. 4-2 faces, which is so weird. Why would you give your heels a big disadvantage like this? Unless you wanted to turn one of them face?  

 

We get rid of the Bushwhackers to even things up. Perfect getting rid of Butch with a roll up. Rude Awakening gets rid of Luke. Now, with the dead wood removed, we can have a match. Hennig does great work during this whole match. He makes the Bushwhackers offence look effective and by the time he’s grappling with Snuka, he’s performing miracles. Piper vs Rude is the main feud that holds this match together. They’ve been exchanging words and Piper’s been going through the Heenan Family to get to Rude. It immediately turns into a brawl and they’re both counted out.  

 

Perfect vs. Snuka then! This is also a no-brainer because Snuka wasn’t worth putting over anybody and only looked good in this match because of Hennig. As with Bret Hart and Ted DiBiase earlier, Mr Perfect has done a great job of carrying his match. He may be the evening’s MVP for making Snuka look good in 1989 though. Snuka ducks his head early on a backdrop and the Perfectplex finishes. Elite performance from Mr Perfect. He should have had a world title run. By the time WCW were handing them out to underachievers he was out with a back injury. 

 

Andre the Giant, Haku, Arn Anderson & Bobby Heenan vs. Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart & The Rockers 

What the fuck is Jim Neidhart doing in here? Meanwhile, Bobby is replacing Tully Blanchard, who got fired for failing a cocaine test and is essentially done because of it. Considering how good Tully was, all the way up to this point, it’s mad he never caught on again. The next time I’ll be seeing him is on AWA Superclash IV*. Andre apparently hated Warrior so they keep their interaction quick here, with Andre knocked out of the ring and counted out inside 30 seconds. 

 

*That’s a big yikes from me, readers. A show headlined by Paul Diamond & THE TROOPER** vs. Mike Enos & Wayne Bloom. It’s safe to say AWA is utterly fucked in 1989. Tully’s opponent on this supercard? Tommy Jammer. No, me either. I’ve never ventured into AWA past Superclash III before so we’re in the wild west, ladies and gents.  

 

**Del Wilkes. You may know him as The Patriot.  

 

From a booking perspective, it’s a bone-headed play. I get the reluctance to use Andre at this stage of his career though. He’s nowhere near his peak and can barely move. Haku kicks Anvil in the head and he’s gone. 3-3. The star of this match is Shawn Michaels, which I shouldn’t need to state, but here we are. Imagine a match with Bret, Shawn, Perfect and DiBiase on this show? The absense of Tully also robs us of one final Rockers-Busters match up.  

 

Warrior is missing someone to guide him in this match. He looks lost. Ideally, you wouldn’t want him in anything more complicated than a singles match. Arn is a tag specialist and seemed to have that tag chemistry with everyone. He works well with Haku here and sets up Heenan to pin Jannetty. Warrior comes flying in and Arn literally tells him to “calm down”. Hahaha.  

 

Warrior and Shawn proceed to combine shockingly well as a team. Warrior claims an assist for pushing Michaels into a crossbody on Haku and he’s gone. Arn gets mad at Heenan for short arming him on a tag. The rumour all night has been ‘trouble in the Heenan Family’ and that’s playing out here. Arn would head back to WCW after this show. What a fabulous year Arn Anderson had in the WWF. If you’ve never seen Arn in his prime, you’re missing out. He takes out Michaels with a spinebuster. The latest in a series of lame finishes. At least this spot looked cool.  

 

The referee on the floor here is none other than Shane McMahon. Maybe the first time I’ve seen him feature. Warrior picks off Arn with the press slam and Heenan is left all alone.  

Bobby sells the crap out of the last few minutes. He’s done loads of little matches with Warrior, trying to get him to work properly, and he knows Warrior can do it all already. Tackle. Splash. Warrior survives on his own to stand tall as the show finishes. This was probably the best match on the show but only because of the sheer number of talented guys around the lugs. Call it *** 

 

The 411: 

This was a mediocre show. The folks got to see all the stars interacting but that’s about it. Nothing of note happened. It’s sad that Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard finished in the company after this show. If there’s one thing the card showed it’s that the company needed solid hands to guide all McMahon favourite toys around.